These feelings might surprise you—but they are part of your new journey as spouses.
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grooms holding hands at wedding

Once all of the mega-watt energy surrounding your wedding has subsided, you'll discover there's so much to love about everyday married life. Those early days and weeks as newlyweds aren't without a few surprises of their own, however. But, if you know what's on the horizon, you'll be prepared for these new emotions as they come.

Sadness or Deflation

"The engagement period is an exciting time! There is so much love, enthusiasm, and support directed towards you and your relationship. Then—it's over," says Rebekah Montgomery, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist from Boston, Mass., who specializes in relationships and premarital counseling and workshops. "Don't be surprised if there is a little whiplash after coming to a full stop after the wedding. We call this the post-wedding blues."

A cure for these blues, says Montgomery, involves putting a few exciting plans on the calendar—and creating moments to look forward to. Plan get-togethers with friends who couldn't make it to the wedding (they're going to want to hear all about it!), a cozy dinner party at your home (it's the perfect excuse to put those wedding gifts to use), or explore options for a long-weekend getaway. (Yes, you may have just gotten back from your honeymoon—but there's nothing wrong with indulging in a little extra trip or staycation.)

Deeper Love and Pride

In the weeks after your wedding, Montgomery says you will likely have a new appreciation for each other and feel the true depth of your commitment. "Your relationship will feel different after marriage," she says. "It might be that moment after your first post-married argument when you realize that neither of you are going anywhere or that deep sense that this person has become more than your partner. They're now your family, and you'll feel pride that they're your spouse." 

Plus, with all of the demands of wedding planning behind you, there's simply more time to appreciate the small things. "Revel in the mundane intimacy of your life together, and always keep talking about your relationship, love, and commitment," says Montgomery.

Pressure About What's Next

You'll be surprised at how soon after the wedding that your family, friends, and even colleagues begin asking you about any number of personal life decisions—big picture items you potentially haven't even considered. "Pressure for the next life milestone continues after marriage," says Montgomery. "There can be pressure to buy a home, start a family, or progress to whatever the next goal may be."

Face these questions as they come, she says—and hold onto the timeline that works for you and your new spouse. "Set your own pace as a couple and remember that every stage of your life together has its own gifts," she says. "Don't miss out on them!" 

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