It's doable, but you'll need to be very organized to pull it off.

Taking on the role of maid of honor while simultaneously planning your own wedding can be a tall task, but it's both feasible and quite common. To prevent overwhelming stress, you'll need to know how to handle each of the tasks at hand while also being communicative and supportive of your best friend or sister's wedding plans. Here are some tips to help you navigate this chapter.

Agree to honor each other's boundaries from the start.

Clear communication between close friends and sisters isn't always a guarantee, but you'll need to make this a priority if you're going to be a good head attendant and still get everything done for your own wedding. You may find it helpful to schedule regular check-ins with each other or agree to boundaries on each of your responsibilities and time commitments.

Find a system of organization that works for you.

You'll likely have a to-do list for your own wedding, but it might also be helpful to have a maid of honor to-do list so you can track your tasks efficiently. Managing your calendar is also important, as you'll need to be sure there are no overlapping events—like her bridal shower the weekend of your bachelorette party—and to avoid over-commit yourself. Remember, you'll have some busy weekends planning your own wedding and need to factor in mental health time throughout all this event planning.

Space out your weddings—if you can.

It's unlikely you'll both become engaged at the same exact time, and unlikelier yet that you'll have the same wedding day in mind. However, it's common that friends will both want to marry in the same season. If it's possible to give yourself enough time between the two weddings to recover financially, emotionally, and physically, you're more likely to feel like you can give the right amount of focus to each occasion.

But what should you do if you're tying the knot within weeks of each other? That's where those boundaries come back into play. Discuss deadlines for wedding-related tasks and non-negotiable commitments (like your final venue walkthrough or honeymoon) that will need to be worked around as early as possible.

beth john wedding bride and main of honor in blue

Don't procrastinate.

It's easy to get into the mindset that you'll have more time to focus on being a good maid of honor after your own wedding, but if you can avoid putting off major tasks, you'll be more relaxed in the long run. 

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

If you're struggling to plan your best friend's bridal shower, bachelorette party, and your own wedding, it may be time to enlist the help of the other bridesmaids. Consider each of the girls' skill sets and delegate tasks you know they can follow through with. This way, you can call the final shots and be the lead event planner, but you won't have to spend as much time managing the nitty gritty details. 

Know when you can't take more on.

If you're really struggling with managing all the moving parts of coordinating multiple events, it might be worth returning to the drawing table with your best friend and asking if there's someone else who may be better up to the tasks at hand. Maybe you can be an honorary maid of honor while another bridesmaid tackles planning the events, or maybe you can simply be a bridesmaid. Either way, having the open communication you established at the start of the planning should help you navigate this conversation.


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