Should You Play Matchmaker for One of Your Siblings?
While it might seem like a great idea, experts actually advise against it.
Although it's pretty tempting to set up your single brother with one of your best friends, relationship experts strongly advise against doing so, as it could potentially put you in an uncomfortable position with both parties. That's especially true if the pairing doesn't end up working out or in the event that one person feels wronged by the other down the line. "When it comes to playing matchmaker for your siblings, I usually tend to advise against it," says relationship psychiatrist Dr. Laura Dabney, MD. While you may know your sibling or friends very well, she stresses that there's really know way for you to know how their personalities will mesh together. Still, if you'd like to take the risk and play matchmaker for any of your single siblings, we spoke to two seasoned pros about all the dos and don'ts surrounding the topic.
Doing So Can Come with Its Fair Share of Negative Repercussions
"Let's say you set up a sibling with someone you feel would be a great match and they actually end up married," Dr. Dabney explains. That's the dream, right? Assuming the relationship continues to work out, yes; but what happens if things unravel down the line? If they divorce, she adds, there could be resentment towards you for getting them together in the first place. Family and friends on both sides may point the finger at you for the poor pairing.
Are You Willing to Accept the Risk of Things Going Poorly?
"Granted, there is a chance all will go well, but it may not be worth taking that chance," Dr. Dabney says. "My thoughts are, even though it would not be your fault, the blame may fall on you, as you would have been the initial matchmaker." If that's a risk you're willing to take, then go ahead and set up a first date; if you're wary, it's best to stay out of it.
Make Sure Both Parties Are Interested
"Fixing up your siblings is somewhat similar to being a matchmaker for your friends," says board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman, MD. "If your sibling wants you to fix them up, and their potential date wants to meet your sibling or has expressed interest in meeting someone special, then it might be something to consider." But if they're absolutely not interested in dating right now, don't push the subject. Just because you're in a great relationship doesn't mean everyone around you needs to be paired off right now, too.
"It's up to you to figure out whether the parties involved are grown up enough to get involved," Dr. Edelman adds. "If they aren't, you could find yourself in the middle of a messy breakup."
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