There are happy coincidences, but this isn't one of them.

By Nancy Mattia
October 23, 2020
burgundy and pink wedding invitations

If only there were more Saturdays on the calendar! Since there are only 52 in a year, and you and many of your friends (all in your 20s and 30s) are getting married within the year, mostly on Saturdays, you may run into the problem of overlapping weddings. And now, more than ever before, weekend wedding dates are hot commodities: With so many couples rescheduling or postponing their weddings in light of the coronavirus pandemic, next year's social calendar might already be booked solid. So it's hard to blame you for jumping at the opportunity to book an open Saturday with a venue you love before you run it by everyone you know. But what happens if you later learn that you and a close friend selected the same date for your nuptials?

How could you not have known?

In normal times your closest friends likely know your wedding date and would never pick the same one, but what about a good friend, maybe a high school buddy, who you still feel close to but don't talk to that often? Or someone who's part of a large friend group with you who you only talk to at parties? It happens, so don't stress about it. But this year is anything but normal: With so many postponed and rescheduled events, open wedding dates for 2021 and even 2022 are few and far between. You jumped at the first availability that worked for you and your VIPs—unfortunately, it's a possibility that others did the same.

Can one of you change your date?

Assuming you booked the date first, would your friend be willing or able to pick another? This is assuming there wouldn't be any repercussions (she hasn't sent out save-the-dates yet or put down non-refundable deposits), of course. If she's not willing, are you?

What will mutual friends do?

They'll be in an awkward position but they'll have to decide which wedding to attend. Or they could always go to her ceremony and your reception, or vice versa, if your weddings are being held at the same time and in nearby locales.

Get out those save-the-dates!

Mail them today! It's not a race (or is it?) but if friends on both guest lists receive your save-the-dates first, they'll probably feel yours is the one they should attend. And even if you don't know that someone has already picked the same wedding date as you, sending your save-the-dates early is important right now: Guests will need to plan ahead


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