You'll want to figure out what's best for the kids, their parents, and you.

ericka meechaeyl wedding flower girl
Credit: Liz Fogarty

On the wedding day, one of the most fun parts for the bride is getting ready with her girls, a group that includes her bridesmaids, mom, and maybe the groom's mom (ask her to join you, at least for part of the time—you'll earn extra points for being a thoughtful future daughter-in-law!). Well-wishers drop by, Champagne is poured, bouquets and corsages are delivered, photos are taken, and the excitement builds. There's much laughter and a few pinch-me tears. It's happy chaos but stressful, too. Should you add more to the mix by having your flower girl and ring bearer get ready with you? There are certain situations where they should and shouldn't.

If the flower girl and/or ring bearer are your kids...

You may want them to get ready with you in your home or hotel room so they can share this special day with you from morning until night. But do have backup—getting your hair and makeup done should be a relaxing experience so let someone else cut the crusts off their sandwiches and help them get dressed.

If their mom is in the bridal party...

They could also get ready with her and the group if no one is available or unwilling to take them, or if their mom insists on having the kids with her.

If they're older...

The age range for child attendants is typically four to eight years old. While an eight-year-old girl may be thrilled to get ready with the bridesmaids, an eight-year-old boy probably won't want to be around so many females. He can get ready with the groom and the other guys in the wedding party if his dad is part of the crowd, or else he can get ready at home and join the group later for photos.

If they're typical kids...

Most children won't have the patience to sit still for hours—they need to run around and be silly and play. So, whether or not a parent is in the bridal party, they may be better off getting dressed elsewhere and arrive at the getting-ready spot in time for photos.


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