You don't want to seem ungrateful but isn't once enough?

By Nancy Mattia
September 14, 2020
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Your bridal shower is over and you're milling around thanking everyone for coming and for the wonderful gifts. You remember that your mom's friend gave you a set of kitchen knives from your registry so you mention how much you love them and how appreciative you are while chatting. Or maybe it's your wedding day and your uncle hands you an envelope with a check inside. You and the groom thank him and give him a big hug. Later, while writing thank-you notes one evening, you wonder it it's necessary to send a handwritten note in addition to the in-person gratitude you already expressed. While it might seem like overkill to thank someone in person and then again in writing, it's good manners to send a note—simply put, the answer is yes. And this rule applies to all wedding-related gifts.

A written note makes the gift giver feel appreciated.

It's easy to thank someone on the spot for their gift but taking the time out of your busy day to write a note? That's going the extra mile. People notice.

If you already used the knives or spent the money, you have something specific to refer to.

You wouldn't have known how great the knives worked or how spectacular the hot-air balloon ride was when you originally said thanks in person. Mention these anecdotal updates in your note. It'll make your thanks even more personal.

For many people it's a treat to receive something from the post office that's not junk mail.

In a sea of unwanted flyers, coupon books, and other mailers, a personal note will be welcomed and appreciated.

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