8 Things Not to Say to Your Friend Who Just Got Engaged
When a friend gets engaged, it's exciting. No wonder you have a zillion questions to ask her. But know this: it doesn't matter if you and the bride-to-be are super close or you're simply one of those blunt people who gets to the point—some questions about the engagement better kept unasked. Before you blurt something out that could potentially scuff your friendship, put a filter on it.
Well, that was fast. Are you pregnant?
Celebrities get married on a whim all the time! Love is love and who are you to judge. And, if she is pregnant, you don't want to be that nosy friend who gets it out of her before she's ready to share the news with everyone.
Finally, I didn't think it was going to happen. Why did he take so long?
Why do you take so long to get ready in the morning? Life happens. Each relationship has its own delicate path and only the people in the couple know when they are ready to commit to marriage. You don't need to pry for an explanation.
Were you surprised?
Duh! Even if the couple chose the ring together and your friend had a hunch that he was going to propose, she probably didn't know how exactly he was going to do it. Plus, having to explain that she knew he was going to get down on one knee takes away from this special moment.
How did you get him to commit?
Chances are you're trying to figure out how to get your own guy to pop the question. Still, it's rude to imply that the groom was forced into proposing. He's not a puppy that your friend is domesticating, show some respect.
Did you choose the ring?
Do you mean that the ring is so perfect that there is no way the guy could have chosen it himself? Or, is it pretty ordinary-clearly your friend gave minimal input? Either way, it's not very polite to make her explain (ahem, defend) the process that went into selecting the ring. Simply ask to see the ring. She'll tell you what you need to know. P.S. Don't even think of inquiring about carats.
Are your parents going to pay for everything, or will his chip in, too?
Discussing money is tacky. Alluding to your friends' parents' bank account will make the bride uncomfortable and highlight your lack of manners. It's really none of your business who funds the wedding.
When's the big day? It's going to be so fun-I can't wait to celebrate with you!
Assuming makes an … you know how the saying goes. Creating a guest list for a wedding is not the same as inviting a bunch of people for a backyard BBQ. Narrowing down who gets to witness the nuptials can be more of House of Cards than Full House. All you can do is keep your fingers crossed you that you get a save-the-date.
Are you sure you're ready for forever-and-always?
Maybe she always had a string of boyfriends, or perhaps this is her first serious relationship-whatever the case may be, every woman has her own timeline for settling down. While you may wonder if your friend has sown her wild oats, this type of question implies that you don't think the guy in question is quite worthy for a lifetime commitment. Better keep your mouth shut, lest you want to insult the bride-to-be.