8 Questions You're Too Afraid to Ask About Marriage
There's a lot of lore about what happens to two people when they promise "to have and to hold" one another forever … and it's not all nagging and wandering eyes! Read on to find out what marriage really holds in store.
1. Will we stop having sex?
Nope. Will you sometimes have less of it than one of you would like? Probably. Will you sometimes have less of it than both of you would like? Chances are decent, especially if young children are in the picture. But if you make it a priority, it will happen!
2. Will the spark die?
Fireworks won't be going off every day, but that special spark, the chemistry that made you fall in love with each other, won't be extinguished. It may dim in the face of a serious disagreement, or be relegated to the backburner when routine rules the roost, but just because you're married, doesn't mean that sizzle you share now is destined to fizzle out.
3. Will we bicker all the time?
There will be minor spats and major arguments, but constant bickering isn't a guarantee. If you're worried about turning into that stereotypical "old married couple" that never has anything nice to say to (or about) each other, be aware of how you communicate. It's just as important to voice praise, gratitude, admiration, and adoration as what's bothering you or what chores need to be done.
4. Will we become really boring?
Yes, but you will love it. You'll look forward to and really enjoy long walks, poolside vacations, movie nights, and dinner parties. Only if you have a momentary lapse and look at your life through the eyes of your 20-year-old self will you consider yourselves boring.
5. Will we get bored of each other?
If you enjoy spending time and doing things together now, chances are you'll continue to do so. Rather than being bored of each other, you'll be scheduling date nights, so you can actually spend quality time with each other! What with jobs, kids, in-laws, chores, and errands, it's not like you're signing up for a life of trying to keep each other entertained in an empty, windowless room.
6. Will we miss being single?
Maybe. Nothing quite compares to the thrill of the chase, and the heady elation of new love (or lust), but a night out with your single friends will give your nostalgia a reality check. If you decide to have kids, you'll start to miss a lot of things (like daily showers and not speed eating), but you wouldn't give up your family to have any of those things back.
7. If we have kids, will we talk about nothing else?
Sometimes it will seem that way. Raising children involves a ridiculous amount of logistics, not to mention sharing concerns, achievements, tales of joy (and woe), best practices…all having to do with the kiddos. But all of this will be worthwhile. And you will talk of other thing: your jobs, your friends, an interesting article you read, the state of the Union. And no, once the kids are grown, you won't suddenly run out of things to say to each other.
8. Will little habits I once found endearing (or neutral, or slightly irritating) start to drive me crazy?
Maybe, but if you ask your spouse to try to change or stop doing whatever it is around you, and they can't (because habits are hard to break), you'll learn to let it go. Love is an amazing thing.
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