She's young, so would she be bored?

By Nancy Mattia
March 24, 2020
flower girl holding almond shaped wicker basket
Credit: Sally Pinera

Child attendants like flower girls add joy and excitement—and loads of cuteness—to any wedding they're in. But even though they're full-fledged members of the bridal party, their presence isn't essential at any other event such as the bridal shower. Traditionally the shower is a female-adults-only affair (though co-ed showers are popular now), yet the hosts may wonder if they're supposed to invite the young girl anyway. As you try to figure out what to do, take the following factors into consideration.

How old she'll be at the shower

The customary age range for flower girls is four to eight. But when contemplating sending yours a shower invite, think about the child's temperament and maturity because they count even more than the what year they were born. There are four year olds who can sit quietly and entertain themselves for an hour, and there are eight year olds who have trouble sitting still for more than a few minutes. If you're hosting and don't know the child, ask the mom if she thinks her daughter could handle a multi-hour party with grownups and presents that aren't for her.

Some shower themes are for mature audiences only.

Any shower with a theme that could be construed as "adult," like lingerie, or a shower where the guests play racy games—even if they go over the child's head—would be inappropriate for a young girl to attend.

Consider family politics.

No one wants to insult anyone so if you think the child's mother or grandmother would take offense at the flower girl not being invited to the shower, you may want to send an invite. Fingers crossed that the child will be well rested and on her best behavior that day. And if she's not? Hopefully her mom will be sensible and make an early exit with her daughter.


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