Skip to content

Top Navigation

Martha Stewart Martha Stewart
  • FOOD
  • HOLIDAYS
  • ENTERTAINING
  • HOME
  • GARDENING
  • CLEANING & ORGANIZING
  • WEDDINGS
  • SHOP
  • DIY
  • BEAUTY & WELLNESS
  • LIFE
  • NEWS
  • MARTHA'S BLOG
  • About Us

Profile Menu

Martha's Blog
Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletter
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Contact Us
  • Your Content
  • Logout

More

  • Enter to Win $10,000 to Makeover Your Home!
  • Martha's Blog
  • Weddings
Login
Pin FB

Explore Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart Martha Stewart
  • Explore

    Explore

    • Tips on Organizing Your Home

      Tips on Organizing Your Home

      From the kitchen and bathroom to the bedroom and laundry room, here are 40 ways to simplify, streamline, and banish clutter throughout the house. Read More
    • These Are the Paint Colors You'll See Everywhere in 2022

      These Are the Paint Colors You'll See Everywhere in 2022

      Upgrade your spaces with new—and old—classics. Read More
    • 39 Make-Ahead Holiday Dishes That Are Perfect for Festive Family Gatherings

      39 Make-Ahead Holiday Dishes That Are Perfect for Festive Family Gatherings

      These classic recipes will help you get a head start on the festivities. Read More
  • FOOD

    FOOD

    See All FOOD
    • Breakfast & Brunch Recipes
    • Lunch Recipes
    • Dinner Recipes
    • Appetizers & Snacks
    • Dessert Recipes
    • Drink Recipes
    • Salad Recipes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soup Recipes
    • Healthy Recipes
    • Quick & Easy Recipes
    • Vegetarian Recipes
    • Cooking How-Tos
    • Baking
    • Menu Planning
    • Food News & Trends
    • Wine
    • Mastering the Holiday Meal
    • What's for Dinner
    • All Recipes
  • HOLIDAYS

    HOLIDAYS

    See All HOLIDAYS
    All of Our Best Valentine's Day Crafts to Make from the Heart

    All of Our Best Valentine's Day Crafts to Make from the Heart

    Express your love with handmade Valentine's crafts like paper cards, gift ideas, and decorations.
    • Valentine's Day
    • St. Patricks Day
    • Passover
    • Easter
    • Mother's Day
    • Father's Day
    • Fourth of July
    • Halloween
    • Thanksgiving
    • Hanukkah
    • Christmas
    • New Year's Eve
  • ENTERTAINING

    ENTERTAINING

    See All ENTERTAINING
    Will We Entertain Differently in 2022? These Are the New Trends Hostesses Should Bookmark

    Will We Entertain Differently in 2022? These Are the New Trends Hostesses Should Bookmark

    Secure your role as the host with the absolute most.
    • Seasonal Entertaining & Decorating
    • Baby Shower Ideas
    • Dinner Party Ideas
    • You're Invited
  • HOME

    HOME

    See All HOME
    How to Hang and Arrange Pictures

    How to Hang and Arrange Pictures

    Amp up your home décor with perfectly placed frames.
    • Home Design & Decor
    • Paint Colors & Palettes
    • DIY Home Projects
    • The Well-Kept Home
  • GARDENING

    GARDENING

    See All GARDENING
    Six Houseplant Mistakes to Avoid This Winter

    Six Houseplant Mistakes to Avoid This Winter

    Don't let your varieties fall victim to the perils of poor cold-weather maintenance.
    • Container Gardening
    • Flower Gardens
    • Houseplants
    • Landscaping
    • Vegetable Gardens
  • CLEANING & ORGANIZING

    CLEANING & ORGANIZING

    How to Deep Clean Your Oven with Baking Soda

    How to Deep Clean Your Oven with Baking Soda

    Our easy tips will make this cleaning task a lot less daunting.
    • Cleaning
    • Storage & Organization
    • Laundry & Linens
  • WEDDINGS

    WEDDINGS

    See All WEDDINGS
    Your Ultimate Wedding-Planning Timeline

    Your Ultimate Wedding-Planning Timeline

    Ready, set, go! Our no-nonsense guide will help you learn how to plan your wedding like a pro.
    • Real Weddings
    • Wedding Party
    • Wedding Planning & Advice
    • Wedding Ceremony & Reception
    • Wedding Jewelry
    • Dresses & Style
    • Wedding Beauty & Wellness
    • Wedding Registry
    • Wedding Showers & Parties
    • Love & Marriage
    • Wedding Travel
  • SHOP
  • DIY

    DIY

    See All DIY
    How to Knit: A Beginner's Step-by-Step Guide

    How to Knit: A Beginner's Step-by-Step Guide

    Learn how to knit your own mittens, hats, scarves, and more. We'll take you through the step-by-step instructions and teach you how to cast on, knit, purl, and cast off.
    • Dyeing
    • Holiday Crafts
    • Kids' Crafts
    • Knitting
    • Paper Crafts
    • Sewing
    • Rescue & Revamp
  • BEAUTY & WELLNESS

    BEAUTY & WELLNESS

    Your Complete Guide to Restoring Moisture Back Into Your Skin

    Your Complete Guide to Restoring Moisture Back Into Your Skin

    Take a multi-pronged approach if you're experiencing excess dryness.
    • Beauty
    • Health & Wellness
    • Live Well
  • LIFE

    LIFE

    See All LIFE
    • Family
    • Pets
    • Travel
    • Net Worth
  • NEWS
  • MARTHA'S BLOG
  • About Us

Profile Menu

Martha's Blog
Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletter
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Contact Us
  • Your Content
  • Logout

More

  • Enter to Win $10,000 to Makeover Your Home!
  • Martha's Blog
  • Weddings
Login
Sweepstakes

Follow Us

  1. marthastewart.com
  2. Weddings
  3. Wedding Planning & Advice
  4. Wedding Party
  5. Grooms & Groomsmen
  6. How to Choose a Wedding Party You'll Love
Martha Stewart Weddings

How to Choose a Wedding Party You'll Love

chloe gorman bio martha stewart weddings
By Chloe Gorman
Skip gallery slides
Pin
wedding party in the snow
Credit: Corrina Walker Photography

From the maid of honor to the ring bearer, here's how to select your big-day VIPs.

Start Slideshow

1 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message
wedding party in the snow
Credit: Corrina Walker Photography

The wedding planning process involves making many decisions: the venue, the dress, and the guest list, to name a few. But one of the trickier choices you'll have to make is deciding who will be in your wedding party. If you're having a hard time choosing everyone from your maid of honor to your ring bearer, we've got you covered. This guide will make the selection process easier by highlighting what to consider when thinking about each important member.

If you have too many people to choose from, start the selection process by first determining how large or small you want your group to be—the number of attendants is totally up to you. After you make that choice, choosing who you actually want to stand by your side on your wedding day should fall into place. To help you on your way, we've asked experts for their best tips. One piece of advice they all agree on? Think about the future. "Do think very hard about the people you see in your life in five, ten, twenty years," says Lindsay Sims of TOAST Events. "These should be the people standing with you."

Being part of a wedding party is also a large undertaking for those involved, so make sure you're thinking of asking only those who are up to the task. One way to do that, says planner Tara Guérard, is to consider who's been there for you during both challenging and happy moments of your life (both of which you'll experience during the planning process). Still not sure where to begin? The following guide outlines not only how to pick these VIP attendants, but also documents what they're responsible for. By the time you're finished, you'll have a clearer outlook on who you want standing with you at the altar.

1 of 12

Advertisement
Advertisement

2 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

How to Choose Your Maid of Honor

miya matthew wedding bridesmaids
Credit: Clary Pfeiffer Photography
More tips for choosing a maid of honor here

Traditionally, the bride invites the sister closest to her in age to be the maid or matron of honor, but these days she can ask any relative or friend—even a grandparent, parent, or adult child. A bride may also name a brother or close male friend to act as her man of honor. If she can't choose between two people, having more than one maid of honor is totally fine, says planner Jacin Fitzgerald, "as long as you've established their roles from the get-go so they're not walking over each other to make sure you are taken care of and stepping on each other's toes to see who's in charge," she says.

2 of 12

3 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?

maid of honor helping bride with her shoes
Credit: Sargeant Creative

As head bridesmaid, the maid of honor is in charge of delegating jobs and keeping the bridal party informed and organized. She will usually help the bride shop for her wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses, tell guests where the couple registered for gifts, and host the bridal shower and bachelorette party. On the wedding day, she'll tend to the bride's veil, train, and bustle, hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony, and sign the marriage certificate as a witness. At the reception, she and the best man sometimes join the newlyweds for the first formal dance sequence and typically offers a toast.

3 of 12

Advertisement

4 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

How to Choose Your Best Man

colorado guests
Credit: Tec Petaja

When choosing a best man, Fitzgerald says the process is the same as selecting a maid of honor: Think of who you you're closest to. "We're talking the deep kind of friendships, the kind that sees you at your best and worst and loves you all the same," she says. "Not the friends you enjoy going out with, but don't have more than a topical relationship with." She also recommends considering a best man candidate's personality, especially since you'll want someone who will help "keep you even-keel on this very emotional day."

4 of 12

5 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Are the Best Man's Responsibilities?

best man helping groom get ready
Credit: Vicki Grafton Photography
Find out more about the best man's responsibilities here

The best man helps the groom select the men's tuxedos and makes sure the groomsmen get fitted. He may also act as the bachelor party planner. In addition, the best man makes sure the groom gets to the ceremony on time and calms his pre-wedding jitters. He stands at the groom's side during the ceremony, holds the bride's ring, and signs the marriage certificate. Afterwards, he hands out payments for the officiant (and for any other expenses that come up), offers the first toast, safeguards gift envelopes, and orchestrates a smooth departure for the newlyweds when the party is over.

5 of 12

6 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

How to Choose Your Bridesmaids

bride and bridesmaids walking
Credit: Bonnie Sen Photography
4 Tips for Choosing Your Bridal Party

In addition to her family members and friends, the bride's entourage may include at least one of the groom's sisters. Older girls and young teenagers can also join the party as junior bridesmaids. "Most of our brides have chosen people from the different stages of their lives—childhood, college, work, and family," says Guérard. "This is not a hard guideline, just an idea of what we have seen in the past." Another thing to take into consideration? "Select the girls who jive as a group and are going to put all of their attention into making you feel cared for," says Sims.

6 of 12

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

7 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Are Their Responsibilities?

bridal party helping bride get dressed
Credit: Ether and Smith

The bridesmaids often help the maid of honor plan her shower and bachelorette party—they may also cohost these events. They attend prenuptial festivities and assist the bride or maid of honor with assorted tasks, such as securing hotel rooms for guests and keeping a gift log at the shower. Bridesmaids purchase the dress you have chosen, and have it fitted in time for the wedding. If they're wearing dresses of their choosing, they need to be aware of any style or color specifications you may have. At the ceremony, they, along with the groomsmen, precede the maid of honor during the procession.

7 of 12

8 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

How to Choose Your Groomsmen

lindsey william wedding dc groomsmen
Credit: Abby Jiu Photography
Your Bridesmaid and Groomsmen Etiquette Questions Answered

Much like choosing bridesmaids, you'll want to pick groomsmen that you're comfortable with. A brother (or brothers) of the bride makes a wonderful addition. Reliability is another factor to think about, according to Sims. "It is always key to have at least one responsible groomsman that the wedding planner can have access to in order to make sure the group is running on time," she says.

8 of 12

9 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Are Their Responsibilities?

wedding groomsmen group shot with greenery
Credit: Theo Milo Photography
Five Things a Groomsman Should Never Do on the Wedding Day

Groomsmen might help host prenuptial celebrations—the bachelor party, in particular. They pay for their own formal attire. At the wedding, groomsmen often serve as ushers; if so, they need to arrive early to roll out the runner, distribute programs, and escort guests to their seats. They walk in the procession alongside the bridesmaids and stand next to the best man during the ceremony.

9 of 12

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

10 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

How to Choose a Flower Girl and Ring Bearer

jessica brian wedding kids
Credit: Abby Jiu Photography

If you're close to any small children, you might want to include them in your wedding party. Keep in mind, however, that children can't be expected to behave like adults. Flower girls and ring bearers should generally be at least four years old and mature enough to handle their role in the ceremony. A very shy or fidgety child will probably not do well in the spotlight, so be sure to ask their parents whether they think their youngsters will be able to manage.

10 of 12

11 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Does the Flower Girl Do?

flower girl holding brown wicker basket with greenery
Credit: Bonphotage
Five Points to Consider When Choosing a Flower Girl for Your Wedding

The flower girl precedes the bride down the aisle carrying a basket of petals (which she scatters as she walks), a nosegay, or an alternate accessory of the brides' choosing. After the procession, her work is done, and she can be seated with her parents.

11 of 12

12 of 12

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

What Does the Ring Bearer Do?

wedding young boy ring bearer with pink pillow
Credit: Charla Storey Photography

The ring bearer walks down the aisle ahead of the bride, sometimes accompanying the flower girl. He will carry the wedding rings (or decoys, if he's too little to be trusted with the real thing), which are typically tied to a small pillow. Once he hands the rings over to the best man, he can rejoin his parents.

12 of 12

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Replay gallery

Share the Gallery

Pinterest Facebook

Up Next

By Chloe Gorman

    Share the Gallery

    Pinterest Facebook
    `
    Martha Stewart Weddings
    View All
    • What Should You Wear to a Low-Key Bridal Shower?
    • Brooklyn Beckham Just Revealed How He Felt the Moment He Saw Nicola Peltz in Her Wedding Dress
    • Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Shared a Sweet Kiss at His Polo Match
    • Is it OK for a Bridesmaid to RSVP No to a Destination Bachelorette Party Invitation?
    Trending Videos
    Advertisement
    Skip slide summaries

    Everything in This Slideshow

    Advertisement

    View All

    1 of 12
    2 of 12 How to Choose Your Maid of Honor
    3 of 12 What Are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?
    4 of 12 How to Choose Your Best Man
    5 of 12 What Are the Best Man's Responsibilities?
    6 of 12 How to Choose Your Bridesmaids
    7 of 12 What Are Their Responsibilities?
    8 of 12 How to Choose Your Groomsmen
    9 of 12 What Are Their Responsibilities?
    10 of 12 How to Choose a Flower Girl and Ring Bearer
    11 of 12 What Does the Flower Girl Do?
    12 of 12 What Does the Ring Bearer Do?

    Share & More

    Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message
    Martha Stewart

    Learn More

    • Contact Us
    • Customer Service
    • Media Kit
    • Martha's Blog
    • Advertise
    • Content Licensing
    • FAQ
    • Corporate
    • International
    • Accolades this link opens in a new tab

    Connect

    Follow Us
    Subscribe to Our Newsletter
    Sign Up
    MeredithMartha Stewart is part of the Meredith Home Group. © Copyright 2022 Meredith Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policythis link opens in a new tab Terms of Servicethis link opens in a new tab Ad Choicesthis link opens in a new tab California Do Not Sellthis link opens a modal window Web Accessibilitythis link opens in a new tab
    © Copyright Martha Stewart. All rights reserved. Printed from https://www.marthastewart.com

    Sign in

    View image

    How to Choose a Wedding Party You'll Love
    this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines.