Planning a special song or dance? Here are some things to consider first.

By Alyssa Brown
June 24, 2020
wedding groom guitar

Creatives, entertainers, and performers are often faced with the question of whether they'll perform at their own weddings. For every partner that means something different, whether reading a poem they've written, singing to their partner, or performing a dance. While it may be an easy decision for some people, others need to weigh the pros and cons before settling on whether to add a performance to their wedding day agenda. Here, we discuss both points of view so you can make the decision that's best for you and your wedding.

Pro: Your performance can be a meaningful way to honor your partner.

For the vast majority of people who choose to perform at their wedding, they're doing so as a way to connect with, or pay tribute to, their partner. This kind of gift to your partner can really add a thoughtful, intimate detail to your day that's completely unique to the two of you.

Con: It could add an extra dose of stress to an already busy day.

Depending how you manage stress, and how comfortable you are with performing in front of your peers, your decision to entertain could weigh heavily on you during your wedding day. For timid partners, it might feel like something you're desperate to get out of the way so you can relax. For others, it's simply exhilarating. Check in with yourself about performance anxiety before you make the final call on whether to break out your talents in a public display.

Pro: The surprise element is a great form of entertainment for guests.

Surprises don't come along just every day, and weddings are known for being meticulously planned events. Adding a surprise performance into the mix is not only a great way to catch your guests off-guard, but it's also a fun form of entertainment that usually elicits an emotional response.

Con: Coordination is requisite and can be complicated.

Though you want your performance to be a surprise for your partner and your guests, you still need to make sure your vendors are on board so that it goes off without a hitch. If you're singing, who's providing your sound system? If you're planning a dance performance, who will cue the music and manage the timing? Will you change outfits? When is the best time to do this? These are all simple questions to answer, but sometimes the setup can be more dynamic if more people are involved.

Pro: This is a moment everyone will remember.

A performance is an authentic way to engage with your wedding guests, especially if you've always been known as a natural entertainer. Though your guests may not remember what they drank at your wedding, who they chatted with, or what the flowers looked like, they will always remember the moment they watched you serenade your partner.


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