Don't hit your post limit.

August 01, 2019
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The honeymoon is traditionally the first time a couple shares an adventure together as newlyweds, but with the popularity of social media, it's harder for newlyweds to actually unplug. As couples post photos from their adventures-from sightseeing to sunbathing to breakfast in bed-on social media, they're deciding to share this special experience with the public. Experts agree that it's important for you to draw the line with photo sharing when it starts to negatively impact your relationship. "It depends on the motivation of the couple," says Mai-Ly N. Steers, a University of Houston researcher who studies social media and relationships. If a couple is sharing photos for boasting purposes, then that can be problematic for your union, she says. Before opening spamming your newsfeed with honeymoon content, consider these expert-approved tips around social media sharing and your post-nuptial getaway.

Set expectations about sharing.

People have different relationships with social media, and an important conversation to have before leaving for your trip-or before you even tie the knot!-is where to set boundaries, says Talia Wagner, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. "If a couple isn't on the same page, that could create a problem," she says. If your spouse is a private person and wants the trip to feel that way, then consider agreeing on posting a specific number of photos each day. Also discuss the type of content you're both comfortable sharing with the world. Are you the type of couple who posts more intimate photos from inside your hotel room, or would you rather limit it to scenery pictures? On the other hand, if both couples are excited about posting and they're engaging in the photo sharing together, then it can enhance their experience, says Wagner.

Keeping some aspects sacred can boost relationships.

The purpose of the honeymoon is to help set a solid foundation for your marriage and being connected to your phone-not only posting photos, but spending excessive time responding to comments-can impact the experience. "Couples need a little bubble where they can just be them," says Wagner. "Ask yourself if you've successfully created that bubble or is everything public space." Once you've set boundaries on what parts of the trip to keep private, those moments inherently become more intimate and special, says Wendy Naiman, a marriage and family therapist in Renton, Washington. "Couples should ask themselves, 'Where the line is between us and the rest of the world?'" suggests Naiman.

Not only can keeping some parts of your life private enhance your own relationship, but it also makes time spent with others after the honeymoon more special, as friends and family will be curious to hear a recap. If you're posting every aspect of your trip, your loved ones will perceive that they know what happened, says Wagner, and therefore, think that there's nothing else to ask.

Make sure your phone isn't your crutch.

We tend to use our phones as a protective layer to having uncomfortable conversations or if we feel bored, says Wagner. Whatever your intentions, being on your phone sends a message to your partner that your device is your priority. "You create these habits that stay with you," says Wagner. Even just holding your phone, triggers the urge to check it and for others to check theirs, adds Steers. Try leaving your phone at the hotel during dinner, or even for part of the day. When we're not having that relationship with our phones, we can further our relationship with each other, Wagner says.

Consider waiting to post your photos until you get home.

Sharing the post is one layer, but spending time checking people's responses and commenting back can be extremely time consuming and create anxiety about how people are responding to your trip, says Naiman. By waiting to post photos until you get home, you're making the decision together about what you want to share with everyone else. "It gives you time to take a step back and craft your message together," says Naiman. Plus, the pro adds, you're not taking any time away from your honeymoon experience worrying more about what people not on your trip think about your marriage.


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