Skip to content

Top Navigation

Martha Stewart Martha Stewart
  • FOOD
  • HOLIDAYS
  • ENTERTAINING
  • HOME
  • GARDENING
  • CLEANING & ORGANIZING
  • WEDDINGS
  • SHOP
  • DIY
  • BEAUTY & WELLNESS
  • LIFE
  • NEWS
  • MARTHA'S BLOG
  • About Us

Profile Menu

Martha's Blog
Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletter
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Contact Us
  • Your Content
  • Logout

More

  • Enter to Win $10,000 to Makeover Your Home!
  • Martha's Blog
  • Weddings
Login
Pin FB

Explore Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart Martha Stewart
  • Explore

    Explore

    • 5 Kitchen Cabinet Paint Colors That Will Never Go Out of Style, According to Interior Designers

      5 Kitchen Cabinet Paint Colors That Will Never Go Out of Style, According to Interior Designers

      Choose a shade that works with a range of backsplash and countertop materials. Read More
    • Let Go of These 8 Household Items as We Start the New Year

      Let Go of These 8 Household Items as We Start the New Year

      Reclaim your space by parting with things in your home you no longer use or have been damaged over time. Read More
    • 93 Quick and Easy Dinner Recipes to Make Any Night of the Week

      93 Quick and Easy Dinner Recipes to Make Any Night of the Week

      From chili and chicken cutlets to spaghetti and meatballs and sheet-pan salmon, consider this your ultimate guide to making a fast weeknight dinner. Read More
  • FOOD

    FOOD

    See All FOOD
    93 Quick and Easy Dinner Recipes to Make Any Night of the Week

    93 Quick and Easy Dinner Recipes to Make Any Night of the Week

    From chili and chicken cutlets to spaghetti and meatballs and sheet-pan salmon, consider this your ultimate guide to making a fast weeknight dinner.
    • Breakfast & Brunch Recipes
    • Lunch Recipes
    • Dinner Recipes
    • Appetizers & Snacks
    • Dessert Recipes
    • Drink Recipes
    • Salad Recipes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soup Recipes
    • Healthy Recipes
    • Quick & Easy Recipes
    • Vegetarian Recipes
    • Cooking How-Tos
    • Baking
    • Menu Planning
    • Food News & Trends
    • Wine
    • Mastering the Holiday Meal
    • What's for Dinner
    • All Recipes
  • HOLIDAYS

    HOLIDAYS

    See All HOLIDAYS
    40 Valentine's Day Dessert Recipes That You'll Fall in Love With

    40 Valentine's Day Dessert Recipes That You'll Fall in Love With

    The sweetest way to say "I love you" is with one of these heartfelt, homemade Valentine's Day desserts. Whether you're looking for a treat for your partner, your Galentine's crew, or the co-workers who adore your home baking, you'll find plenty of inspiration in this collection, filled with heart-shaped cakes, cupcakes, and cookies—plus, easy chocolate truffles and decadent mousses and parfaits. Our recipes include desserts for two to share and sweets that feed a crowd. We rate them all above a bunch of red roses any day.
    • Father's Day
    • Fourth of July
    • Halloween
    • Thanksgiving
    • Hanukkah
    • Christmas
    • New Year's Eve
    • Valentine's Day
    • St. Patricks Day
    • Passover
    • Easter
    • Mother's Day
  • ENTERTAINING

    ENTERTAINING

    See All ENTERTAINING
    6 Things to Always Clean Before Guests Come Over

    6 Things to Always Clean Before Guests Come Over

    You don't have to give your house a top-to-bottom scrub before guests arrive, but there are a few areas you should pay attention to.
    • Seasonal Entertaining & Decorating
    • Halloween Party Ideas
    • Dinner Party Ideas
    • Adult Halloween Costumes
  • HOME

    HOME

    See All HOME
    6 Kitchen Paint Trends to Consider in 2023

    6 Kitchen Paint Trends to Consider in 2023

    Bolder tones, like cherry red and deep olive green, will dominate in the heart of the home.
    • Home Design & Decor
    • Paint Colors & Palettes
    • DIY Home Projects
    • The Well-Kept Home
  • GARDENING

    GARDENING

    See All GARDENING
    How to Winter Sow—Plus, 6 Expert-Approved Seeds to Plant During the Cold-Weather Months

    How to Winter Sow—Plus, 6 Expert-Approved Seeds to Plant During the Cold-Weather Months

    These blooms are tolerant to the chilly conditions, which will allow you to get ahead on your spring flower garden.
    • Container Gardening
    • Flower Gardens
    • Houseplants
    • Landscaping
    • Vegetable Gardens
  • CLEANING & ORGANIZING

    CLEANING & ORGANIZING

    How to Remove Hard Water Stains From a Glass Shower—and Prevent Future Build-Up Before It Forms

    How to Remove Hard Water Stains From a Glass Shower—and Prevent Future Build-Up Before It Forms

    The spots develop when water dries on glass and leaves behind the minerals that were trapped inside.
    • Cleaning
    • Storage & Organization
    • Laundry & Linens
  • WEDDINGS

    WEDDINGS

    See All WEDDINGS
    Experts Say These Are the 7 Things Happy Couples Regularly Do Together

    Experts Say These Are the 7 Things Happy Couples Regularly Do Together

    • Real Weddings
    • Wedding Party
    • Wedding Planning & Advice
    • Wedding Ceremony & Reception
    • Wedding Jewelry
    • Dresses & Style
    • Wedding Beauty & Wellness
    • Wedding Registry
    • Wedding Showers & Parties
    • Love & Marriage
    • Wedding Travel
  • SHOP
  • DIY

    DIY

    See All DIY
    Ready for a New Hobby? These Are the 8 Craft Trends to Try in 2023

    Ready for a New Hobby? These Are the 8 Craft Trends to Try in 2023

    From disco ball art to punch needle embroidery, these are the projects that will dominate the DIY world in the new year, experts say.
    • Dyeing
    • Holiday Crafts
    • Kids' Crafts
    • Knitting
    • Paper Crafts
    • Sewing
  • BEAUTY & WELLNESS

    BEAUTY & WELLNESS

    The Truth About Slugging: Will Applying Petrolatum Jelly to Your Skin Really Make It Glow?

    The Truth About Slugging: Will Applying Petrolatum Jelly to Your Skin Really Make It Glow?

    In short, yes—should you have a skin type that might benefit from an occlusive product.
    • Beauty
    • Health & Wellness
    • Live Well
  • LIFE

    LIFE

    See All LIFE
    9 Dog Breeds That Look Like Puppies Even When They're Fully Grown

    9 Dog Breeds That Look Like Puppies Even When They're Fully Grown

    Puppies are irresistible. We fall in love with their big eyes, little button noses, fluffy tails, and clumsy paws. And yet, like any pet, puppies grow up and turn into dogs. Some breeds, like the Old English Sheepdog or Great Dane, will grow to become larger in size than most people. But not all dogs are destined to become giants. There are some breeds that stay small in size even when they're fully grown. You may want a forever puppy if you are used to smaller animals. Maybe you have a small apartment or just want a canine companion that you can easily carry along with you anywhere you go. Small dogs are also great for families with young children or those of senior age who are best matched with a breed they can physically handle. Fortunately, some specialty dog breeds are mixed to look like puppies throughout their entire lives—and they are sure to melt your heart the second you lay your eyes on them. 
    • Family
    • Pets
    • Travel
  • NEWS
  • MARTHA'S BLOG
  • About Us

Profile Menu

Martha's Blog
Your Account

Account

  • Join Now
  • Email Preferences
  • Newsletter
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Manage Your Subscription this link opens in a new tab
  • Contact Us
  • Your Content
  • Logout

More

  • Enter to Win $10,000 to Makeover Your Home!
  • Martha's Blog
  • Weddings
Login
Sweepstakes

Follow Us

  1. marthastewart.com
  2. Weddings
  3. Wedding Planning & Advice
  4. Wedding Etiquette & Advice
  5. The Etiquette of Wedding Rehearsal Dinners
Martha Stewart Weddings

The Etiquette of Wedding Rehearsal Dinners

Skip gallery slides
Pin
sally-christian-reh-dinner-rw0813-0015.jpg
Credit: Millie Holloman

From picking a location to deciding upon the guest list, here are our tips for planning a rehearsal dinner.

Start Slideshow

1 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message
veronica-mathieu-rehearsal-centerpiece-0396-s111501-1014.jpg
Credit: Elisabeth Millay

When it comes to planning a wedding, you're not just prepping for the main event. There are countless pre-wedding (and some post!) celebrations to prepare for—each with their own code of conduct. As you begin to think about mapping out your rehearsal dinner, it's likely that you'll have a few questions. Who do you invite? Where is the best place to rehearse? And, most nerve-wracking of all, who pays?

Luckily, we've corralled all of your most pressing questions and answered them, right here in this detailed, etiquette-centric guide. The good news? While there are traditional rules in place—typically, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, for example—it's important to know that this event can be tailored to meet your own needs. However you decide to go rogue, there are a few things you should know. When it's time to draft a rehearsal dinner guest list, don't feel pressure to invite half of your wedding's attendees. Only those participating in the big day—meaning your wedding party and their plus ones—are mandatory inclusions. You'll have to run through the ceremony and reception events, after all! 

Ultimately, planning your rehearsal dinner shouldn't be stressful. In fact, the dinner is arguably one of the most celebratory of the pre-wedding events, simply because everything is set and ready to go—all you have to do is wake up the next morning and walk down the aisle to meet your best friend. Let us help you stay stress-free while prepping, with the following info.

1 of 9

Advertisement
Advertisement

2 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Rehearsal

veronica-mathieu-rehearsal-couple-0416-s111501-1014.jpg
Credit: Elisabeth Millay
How to Throw an Unforgettable Rehearsal Dinner

Before the dinner can happen, anyone who plays a role in the ceremony should attend the wedding rehearsal. This includes the officiant, the wedding party, readers, and parents. Walk through the ceremony, establishing the pace and timing, in the order each element will occur, and make sure all of the participants know their responsibilities. Bring the unity candle or anything else you will want to have in place for the following day. It's also smart to have some programs and copies of any readings on hand for people to follow along.

2 of 9

3 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Location and Style

sally-christian-reh-dinner-rw0813-0015.jpg
Credit: Millie Holloman
How to Choose the Perfect Rehearsal Dinner Venue

Depending on the guest list and budget, and the wishes of the hosts, the event can be anything from a formal banquet to a casual outdoor affair. The style of the rehearsal dinner can complement the wedding, but it should not copy or overshadow it. Some couples opt for a complete contrast. For example, a backyard picnic can be a casual foil to a black-tie wedding.

Many rehearsal dinners are held at restaurants—perhaps a favorite date spot or someplace with a style of cuisine that has special meaning to the bride and groom. If Italy is the honeymoon destination, for example, an Italian restaurant would be fitting. A place that showcases local flavor, such as Kansas City barbecue, Chicago deep-dish pizza, or Maine lobster, is a good way to introduce guests to the area.

3 of 9

Advertisement

4 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Timing

sally-christian-reh-dinner-rw0813-0012.jpg
Credit: Millie Holloman

The rehearsal dinner is typically held the night before the wedding, directly after the ceremony run-through. Despite its name, however, it can be a lunch, or even a brunch, if you like; and its pace is often informal and leisurely. But if it is a dinner, keep in mind that the party should end somewhat early, to give everyone a chance to get plenty of rest before the big day.

4 of 9

5 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Hosts

jessica-ilya-rehearsal-0712-049.jpg
Credit: Scott Clark Photo
More Wedding Roles for Parents

Traditionally, the groom's parents are the hosts of the rehearsal dinner, since the bride's family customarily pays for the wedding. But given the more relaxed standards of modern times, other relatives, close friends, or even the couple themselves can plan and pay for the event. Whoever throws the party should definitely confer with the bride and groom to avoid any conflict with the theme, menu, or decorations of the wedding.

5 of 9

6 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Guest List

annie-taylor-rehearsal-rw0812-0108.jpg
Credit: Patricia Lyons Photography

Only those who will actually take part in the rehearsal—the bride and groom, their parents, the officiant, the wedding party (including any child attendants), and readers—plus their spouses or dates, need to be invited to the rehearsal itself and the festivities that follow. But the guest list for the dinner may be longer. You might want to include other family members (such as grandparents) and close friends, for example. And many couples invite their out-of-town guests as well, making the dinner into a welcoming party.

6 of 9

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

7 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Invitations

crystal-adam-rw0713-077.jpg
Credit: Laura Murray

Written invitations are not required, but still it's a good idea to send them if more than just family will be attending; and the host should mail them right after the wedding invitations go out. The invitations are not as formal as those for a wedding but can reflect its tone.

7 of 9

8 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Seating Chart

veronica-mathieu-rehearsal-dinner-0536-s111501-1014.jpg
Credit: Elisabeth Millay

Because it's typically the first time the bride and groom see most of their close friends and family together, the rehearsal dinner can feel like a reunion. For a more formal dinner, or one with a larger guest list, it helps to have a seating chart so people aren't at a loss about where to go when it's time for the meal to be served. Furthermore, some members of the two families may be meeting for the first time, and relatives may not be acquainted with everyone in the wedding party. Encourage conversation by seating these people together (if you're sure they'll be comfortable), or simply make a point of introducing them personally sometime during the evening.

8 of 9

9 of 9

Pin
Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message

The Toasts

susan-rob-rw0612-r018.jpg
Credit: Gemma & Andrew Ingalls
Your Complete Rehearsal Dinner Checklist

Toasts are often a big part of the evening, and unlike those at the wedding reception, where the order may be well planned, rehearsal dinner toasts tend to be spontaneous. In this intimate and casual setting, guests will often feel comfortable sharing their memories of the couple and wishing them well. If the groom's parents are hosting, his father might begin by welcoming all the guests and offering a toast to the bride and groom. The father of the bride can stand next, followed by the attendants and any other guests who want to speak.

During the toasts, the bride and groom have a chance to say a few words of thanks to all of the people taking part in the wedding. This is also the traditional time for them to present gifts to the members of the wedding party (and perhaps the parents) to thank them for their support.

9 of 9

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Replay gallery

Share the Gallery

Pinterest Facebook

Up Next

    Share the Gallery

    Pinterest Facebook
    `
    Martha Stewart Weddings
    View All
    • Princess Eugenie Is Pregnant With Her Second Child—and Is Due This Summer
    • How to Tell Your Loved Ones—Especially Your Parents—That You're Engaged to Someone They Haven't Met
    • Dinner and a Show: This 3-Day Wedding in France Ended With an Epic String Concert
    • 15 City Hall Wedding Dresses and Jumpsuits for Your Courthouse Ceremony
    Trending Videos
    Advertisement
    Skip slide summaries

    Everything in This Slideshow

    Advertisement

    View All

    1 of 9
    2 of 9 The Rehearsal
    3 of 9 The Location and Style
    4 of 9 The Timing
    5 of 9 The Hosts
    6 of 9 The Guest List
    7 of 9 The Invitations
    8 of 9 The Seating Chart
    9 of 9 The Toasts

    Share & More

    Facebook Tweet Email Send Text Message
    Martha Stewart

    Learn More

    • Contact Us
    • Customer Service
    • Media Kit
    • Martha's Blog
    • Advertise
    • Content Licensing
    • FAQ
    • Corporate
    • International
    • Accolades this link opens in a new tab

    Connect

    Subscribe to Our Newsletter
    Sign Up
    MeredithMartha Stewart is part of the Meredith Home Group. © Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policythis link opens in a new tab Terms of Servicethis link opens in a new tab Ad Choicesthis link opens in a new tab California Do Not Sellthis link opens a modal window Web Accessibilitythis link opens in a new tab
    © Copyright Martha Stewart. All rights reserved. Printed from https://www.marthastewart.com

    Sign in

    View image

    The Etiquette of Wedding Rehearsal Dinners
    this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines.