Her role isn't as straightforward as your other attendants.
bride and mother laughing and preparing to walk down the aisle

If Mom is your best friend, it would be natural to ask her to be your maid (or matron) of honor. What better way to acknowledge the fact that she has always had your back, has been supportive and nonjudgmental since you were a child, and constantly offers advice without even demanding you take it. On your wedding day, having her by your side as you begin a life-changing journey is a sweet, comforting gesture. Here's what you (and she!) need to know about giving her this important role.

She shouldn't wear the same dress as the rest of your bridesmaids.

On your wedding day, remember that her role as your mom is more important than her job as matron of honor, which means she shouldn't wear the same dress that all of the other bridesmaids are wearing. Instead, choose a style and color that complements the rest of the bridesmaids' gowns while still being age-appropriate and special. If your 'maids are in boho chic dresses, for example, Mom shouldn't be wearing an outfit that screams "black-tie event." And if your mom wants to wear a gold gown, the bridesmaids shouldn't be dressed in hot pink cocktail-length dresses.

She should plan on delegating some duties.

As the mother of the bride, she'll have plenty to do already, and since the role of matron of honor is mostly symbolic when it's being performed by your mom, she should ask the bridesmaids to take over one big job: planning the bachelorette party. If she wants to go to the bachelorette party (and you're okay with her attending), she certainly can, but her name shouldn't be on any invitations—let the bridesmaids take over the hosting role instead. As for the bridal shower, she can still host this event, but it's also just fine for her to ask the bridesmaids to pitch in, too.

She should walk down the aisle ahead of you.

Plan on having her do what a traditional matron of honor would do: She should walk down the aisle during the processional, carrying a bouquet, just ahead of you. While the mother of the bride traditionally sits in the first pew with the father of the bride, you may prefer she stand by your side at the altar. After all, you gave her this job because you couldn't imagine getting married without her by your side—plus, you will need someone to hold your bouquet!


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