For the Mother of the Bride: Six Things You Should Never Tell Your Daughter as She's Planning Her Wedding
When it comes to the wedding, moms want the best for their daughters. Some of them just have an odd way of showing it. They might think the wedding cake, her daughter's dress is all wrong, or the guest list needs tweaking, and they make no effort to hold those feelings back. Despite how hard it might be to keep your opinions to yourself, there are a number of times where you absolutely must. Here, six inappropriate sentences the mother of the bride should never utter to her daughter.
"I'm paying for the wedding so I get to make the decisions."
Whether you're paying for the whole thing or making a generous contribution, the wedding decisions belong to the bride and groom. It's their wedding, not yours. That's not to say your opinion doesn't matter at all. Have a heart-to-heart with your daughter and talk about each other's expectations for the day then figure out a compromise; for example, you could help decide on the flowers and the cocktail hour, two things that are most important to you.
"You don't mind if I invite my workout class to the wedding, do you?"
You mean you want to invite 12 men and women your daughter has never met to one of the most important days of her life? Don't be surprised if she's not agreeable. On the other hand, if there's room at the venue and you wanted to invite a few of your close friends who watched your daughter grow up, the couple should let you.
"Stop acting like a child."
If the bride is crying and complaining all the time, she may be overwhelmed. Planning a wedding, managing a budget, and facing a huge life change are daunting. She needs to vent, and she needs to do it to someone she trusts—that person is you. Being a good listener and reassuring her that things will work out is a better bet than judging her behavior.
"That's the worst wedding dress I've ever seen."
Of course, it's your daughter's favorite dress of all the ones she tried on, but it's the one you like the least. If it makes her feel beautiful, how can you criticize that? Follow the advice you've heard since you were a child: "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."
"I called the baker and changed the wedding cake to lemon."
A baker worth their whisk wouldn't automatically do what Mom says without the bride's approval, and you should adopt the same rule: Make no changes unless the couple is onboard—even if you're probably right that most guests would prefer lemon over your daughter's choice of pineapple pistachio.
"Who says only the bride can wear white?"
The answer? Pretty much the rest of the world. If you show up in white on the wedding day, it'll look like you're trying to compete with the bride for attention Even if the dress was on sale or makes you feel beautiful, pick another color in the rainbow, please.