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  4. 19 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Ceremony
Martha Stewart Weddings

19 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Ceremony

sarah schreiber martha stewart
By Sarah Schreiber
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jamie and michael wedding ceremony arch
Credit: Sally Pinera

Your service should be a reflection of who you are as a couple.

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jamie and michael wedding ceremony arch
Credit: Sally Pinera

A wedding ceremony is, at its core, formulaic. You walk down the aisle—following your bridal party—exchange vows, kiss, and walk back up. After that, you're officially married! It's not surprising, then, that many couples are concerned about their services feeling standard and even monotonous (especially duos who want their nuptials to be a reflection of their relationship). We'll be the first to tell you that it's perfectly fine to scrap the formula—and to replace the standard mold with a personalized, curated ceremony that feels exactly like you.

Not sure how to pull this off? Let us help. Ahead, you'll discover some of our favorite ways to make your wedding more personal. From cultural traditions that speak to your roots to ceremony décor that involves beloved object from your shared hom, there are so many ways to integrate your love story and relationship's values into your service. If you're in the beginning phase of planning this part of your big day, consider personalizing your ceremony by enlisting the help of meaningful people or places—tap your mom or dad to officiate or ask them if you can tie the knot in the backyard of your childhood home, for example. Closer to tying the knot? Work in a ritual that's easy to pull off in a pinch (we love a candle-lighting ceremony).

However you choose to make your ceremony your own, know that doing so will only enhance your wedding day. You'll walk into married life knowing that you paid homage to your relationship's history—and your identity as a couple—in a substantial way.

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Ask Your Friends to Officiate

bride and groom at wedding ceremony
Credit: Carlie Statsky Photography
Signs That an Officiant Is Right for You

Though it's possible to find an officiant both you and your fiancé click with, having a friend perform your ceremony is so much more personal. Make like this couple and take it one step further: They asked a fellow married couple to oversee their nuptials. The husband-and-wife team worked in their marriage tips and tricks to make their friends' ceremony that much more special.

Pro tip: You'd be surprised to discover how many of your loved ones would be willing to become ordained to marry you—most of the time, all you have to do is ask.

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Host a Family-Only Ceremony

catherine john micro wedding ceremony perry vaile
Credit: Perry Vaile

…even if you're planning on having a traditional service, too. Having fewer people around immediately creates an intimate vibe, which often translates to a more personalized ceremony. You'll feel freer to speak from the heart when surrounded by the people you talk to every day—you definitely won't feel as if you're "performing" for anyone, so you and your fiancé can just be real as you make those life-long promises.

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Work in a Cultural Tradition

melissa justen wedding ceremony bride groom and broom
Credit: Lisa Zeising of Abby Jiu Photography
Creative Wedding Rituals That Symbolize Unity

Incorporating a cultural ritual into your ceremony has a double effect: It both personalizes your nuptials and ties them into a long list of marriages that have come before yours. This couple, for example, decided to jump the broom—an African American tradition—after saying "I do."

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Transform Your Vows Into Décor

wedding ceremony scroll vows greenery candles
Credit: Ryan & Alyssa Photography
Creative Wedding Backdrop Ideas to Consider for Your Own Ceremony

Highlight your handwritten vows by integrating them into your ceremony décor. We love this interpretation, which served as both a backdrop and aisle runner—the couple literally stood on these words as they were married (a beautiful metaphor for the promises their union was based on).

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Personalize a Cultural Prop

wedding yarmulkes
Credit: Paige Jones Photography
Cool Wedding Yarmulkes That'll Personalize Your Jewish Ceremony

Personalizing a cultural ceremony accessory allows you to leave your mark on another big-day facet that speaks to who you are (particularly to your roots and faith). In Jewish weddings, men wear yarmulkes, or head coverings, so this couple emblazoned theirs with their first initials for a personal touch.

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Display Objects from Your Home

steph tim wedding ceremony ladder brick and flowers backdrop
Credit: Scarlet O’Neill

If you and your fiancé live together, then you likely have a slew of meaningful items displayed in your house. Why not work those objects—that symbolize the home you've built together—into your ceremony's décor? This couple did just that by filling the shelves of their ladder backdrop with their favorite candles, trinkets, and their most beautiful books.

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Capture Your Ceremony Through Art

shelby preston wedding artist
Credit: Jake and Heather Photography
Why You Should Consider Hiring an Event Painter for Your Wedding

Art-loving couples might want to consider this creative ceremony element. If strolling through museums, visiting galleries, and collecting art is one of your shared hobbies, a live painter—like Wed on Canvas, shown here—is both a way to showcase your joint passion and capture your ceremony for your own gallery wall.

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Host a Ceremony in the Round

Circle Seating Arrangement
Credit: Caroline Tran Photography
Unique Ways to Seat Guests at Your Wedding Ceremony

There's nothing wrong with rows of straight chairs, but this traditional ceremony setup often means that several guests (especially those in the back) will have an obstructed view of your vows. Hosting a ceremony in the round, however, gives virtually all attendees a better view of the action; the seating arrangement also means that you'll be surrounded by love as you're wed, which creates a more intimate vibe overall.

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Have a Ring Warming

thomas jared wedding ceremony rings held by guests
Credit: Poppy & Co.

This meaningful ceremony ritual gets every single guest involved: Your wedding bands are passed from person-to-person, row-by-row, giving all of your attendees a chance to "warm" the bands you'll wear for the rest of your lives with a well-wish or prayer.

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Involve Your Pup

jermaine scott wedding dc aisle dogs
Credit: Abby Jiu Photography
Ways to Ensure Your Dog Is the Guest of Honor at Your Wedding

If you consider your pup your first child, including him or her in your nuptials probably feels like a no-brainer. Though the level of their involvement should probably correlate to their training (and comfort in crowds), walking your pup (or pups, in these grooms' case!) back up the aisle after you've been pronounced married both personalizes your recessional and gives you the chance to step out as a family for the first time.

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Serve Your Favorite Wine

thomas jared wedding ceremony wine glasses held by guests
Credit: Poppy & Co.

Here's a personalized ceremony idea for you amateur vintners and wine connoisseurs: Offer guests your favorite vintage (or give guests a preview of your wedding wine!) right before the ceremony begins, so your loved ones can sip as they watch your service unfold.

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Upgrade Your Wedding Party's Attire

ring bearer
Credit: N Barrett Photography
Dapper Ring Bearers Who Completely Stole Our Hearts

Though we love this ring bearer's burgundy velvet suit (and his mustard bow tie!), the following applies to every member of your wedding party: If you're a fashion-forward couple throwing a nontraditional event, classic bridesmaid, groomsmen, flower girl, and (of course) ring bearer attire might not resonate with you. Feel free to skip the matching gowns and rented tuxedos for ensembles that speak to your specific style.

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Involve Your Child

natalie elijah wedding ceremony couple at altar with child
Credit: Christina Bernales
How to Include Your Children in Your Wedding

At its core, your ceremony is about family. When you've already started your own, incorporating a personal moment with your child into your nuptials will make them that much more meaningful. This groom's son read his favorite children's book right before his father and step-mother exchanged vows—a ceremony highlight the modern family still treasures today.

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Give a Post-Vow Toast

brittany peter wedding ceremony toast
Credit: Matthew Moore Photography

Why not toast to your union as soon as it happens? As you raise a glass, be sure to offer a few words thanking guests for attending your ceremony—and then throw back your booze of choice (this couple raised a glass of rosé after they were pronounced husband and wife!) to get the party started.

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Exchange Humorous Vows

amy mark california ceremony
Credit: Rachel Thurston

If you're both a couple of comedians, write funny vows that highlight hilarious (but meaningful!) big-picture stories or inside jokes. In other words, don't feel like you need to cater to tradition or formality during this part of your service, especially if you've bonded over your shared sense of humor.

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Have a Candle-Lighting Ceremony

wedding ceremony unity candle with bride and groom
Credit: Laura Gordon

Here's a cross-cultural ceremony ritual that anyone can incorporate into their own service: A candle lighting, which involves each party lighting a single flame with their own, symbolizes a main marriage tenet—two lives becoming one.

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Ask a Parent to Officiate

father of the bride officiating wedding ceremony
Credit: Hannah Pickle

It doesn't get more personal than asking Mom or Dad to officiate your marriage. They've known you longer—and better—than a friend or hired officiant, which is probably why they'll be able to curate a service unlike anyone else.

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Get Married at Home

pillar paul wedding ceremony
Credit: Rachel May Photography
Your Comprehensive Guide to Getting Married at Home

Alternatively, get married at home—the most personal, poignant place on earth. If a full-blown party at your parents' house feels like to great of an undertaking, consider hosting just the ceremony there and moving to a nearby venue for the party.

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Have a Feet-Washing Ceremony

shakira travis wedding feet washing ceremony chair
Credit: Charla Storey Photography

A Christian wedding tradition (most popular in the South!), a foot-washing ceremony typically involves the groom washing the bride's feet as a symbol of devotion and humility (the ritual is pulled directly from the Bible). Host one during your own ceremony if your relationship is predicated on your faith.

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    1 of 20
    2 of 20 Ask Your Friends to Officiate
    3 of 20 Host a Family-Only Ceremony
    4 of 20 Work in a Cultural Tradition
    5 of 20 Transform Your Vows Into Décor
    6 of 20 Personalize a Cultural Prop
    7 of 20 Display Objects from Your Home
    8 of 20 Capture Your Ceremony Through Art
    9 of 20 Host a Ceremony in the Round
    10 of 20 Have a Ring Warming
    11 of 20 Involve Your Pup
    12 of 20 Serve Your Favorite Wine
    13 of 20 Upgrade Your Wedding Party's Attire
    14 of 20 Involve Your Child
    15 of 20 Give a Post-Vow Toast
    16 of 20 Exchange Humorous Vows
    17 of 20 Have a Candle-Lighting Ceremony
    18 of 20 Ask a Parent to Officiate
    19 of 20 Get Married at Home
    20 of 20 Have a Feet-Washing Ceremony

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