Maid-of-Honor Dilemma: How to Deal with Delinquent Bridesmaids
It's your job to keep them in check.
As the maid of honor, you're the leader of the wedding party. This important role comes with more than just honor-it comes with a whole slew of responsibilities and women to manage, too. Over the course of planning showers, bachelorette parties, group gifts, and more, there's bound to be some friction-because even the best friends don't always make for the best bridesmaids. Luckily, professional bridesmaid Tiffany Wright and Jen Glantz, founder of Bridesmaid for Hire and the author of "Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire)," have plenty of tips for dealing with those hard-to-deal with 'maids.
Make Communication Easy
The delinquent bridesmaid doesn't often do it on purpose-many times life just gets in the way. The first step in preventing problems before they start is to make things as organized as possible from the very beginning. "Rather than having tons of email chains, text messages, and word docs floating around-come up with a central way to communicate with everyone so people know where to go to find answers to their questions and a place to refer back to for updates, timelines, and their expectations," says Glantz.
Talk Face to Face
If you're starting to feel tension or resistance, remember a lot can get lost in translation. Before you make an enemy out of a bridesmaid, Glantz suggests getting together in person to clear the air. Oftentimes, a maid of honor is working with people she may not know especially well, and what seems to be a clash in personality could simply be a misunderstanding.
Don't Pick Sides
"Drama will happen but that doesn't mean you have to get involved," says Wright. If your trouble-maker is starting to bad mouth or cause problems, do your best to remain the neutral party. Keeping a level head will help everyone remember the most important part of the wedding party: the bride.
Bring in the Bride
If all else fails, it may be time to get the bride's help, says Glantz. "It sounds like something that can come off as rude or a make you seem a bit 'maidzillia,' but if a bridesmaid is spiraling out of control, bringing the drama to the party, or has gone fully MIA, it's okay to ask the bride to have that person to step down from their role as a bridesmaid." The reality is, some people simply make better friends than bridesmaids, and rather than ruin the relationship, absolving them of their duties could be just the ticket to having day that everyone can enjoy.