Should she spend time in the bridal suite or get ready with her son?
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The bride typically spends her wedding morning with her bridal party and her closest female relatives. Naturally, that includes her own mother, but should her future mother-in-law be part of this group, too? The answer depends on a few factors, including your relationship, how much space you'll have, and whether or not she'll be having her hair and makeup done. If you're trying to figure out where your mother-in-law should join you in the bridal suite, consider the three most common places the groom's mom spends the hours leading up to the wedding, then determine which option makes the most sense for you.

She can spend the morning with the bride.

Regardless of your current relationship with your future mother-in-law, she'll inevitably become a major part of your life after the wedding. Inviting her to get ready together encourages bonding and makes her feel included in the celebration. Plus, your future mother-in-law may want to use your hairstylist and makeup artist. If that's the case, she should definitely be invited to join you pre-ceremony, and you should talk with your vendors about scheduling her in. If she doesn't know your mom well, this could be a good bonding experience for them.

She can spend the morning with the groom.

Traditionally, the groom's mother stays with her son on the morning of the wedding, and there's nothing wrong with maintaining the custom. She may feel more comfortable being surrounded by her own family members, and she'll certainly want to be there for photos with her son anyway. That's why you shouldn't be offended if your future mother-in-law expresses interest in spending the day with her child rather than joining you in the bridal suite. Alternatively, if you're the one who would feel more comfortable getting ready with your own family, you can offer this idea up as a solution.

She can spend a little time with both the bride and groom.

Some women choose to spend part of the morning with their son and part with their future daughter-in-law. If that's the case, she may want to start her morning with the bride and her group, then leave once she has her hair and makeup done. After, she can head to the groom's getting-ready area to help him prepare for his walk down the aisle.

Plus, what to do if you two have a tough relationship.

Do you have a tense relationship with your future mother-in-law? Then think carefully about whether or not you'll invite her to join you while you get ready. It's true that spending time together on the morning of the wedding may serve as a bonding experience, but it can also spur unwarranted stress or even an argument. It's perfectly fine to spend the morning with your own mother and best friends, and if your future mother-in-law falsely assumes she'll get ready with you, ask your husband-to-be to step in. At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for you and your relationship.

Comments (1)

Martha Stewart Member
September 27, 2021
Finally found answers before my second son's wedding. I didn't feel comfortable with my son's party because they were all getting dressed in one room. The bride's dad and uncle were also there. The photographer only took picutres of the men in the party and my husband after spending most of the time with the bride's party at the hotel taking pictures. She only took a couple of pictures of me and my son, the groom, at the church outside prior to the ceremony. We ran out of time. In the beginning I stayed with the bride's party, but felt uncomfortable more like an outsider. The mother of the bride did not speak English. I did help the photographer with pictures of the bride's dress also outside. Since no one seemed to know what time we were leaving the hotel for the church, I didn't want to stay with other hotel guests and miss the ride. We also had poor phone reception. Still not sure what I will do, but perhaps I will ask my husband to call me when all the men are dressed and go there. I still remember feeling a bit awkward and wondered what I would do this time.