The (Annoying) Types of Guests You'll Meet at Every Wedding
Disclaimer: You don't want to make this list!
Once you've attended more than a handful of weddings, you'll start to notice a pattern in the cast of characters you meet at every reception. From the Selfie Queen to the person who pops up with a surprise speech, there's no shortage of entertaining people to watch at just about every wedding. If you happen to spot any of these folks, be sure to steer them away from the bride and groom to save them the embarrassment.
The Chatty Cathy
You know this person. Sometimes it's the person who hogs the bride and groom for too long. Sometimes it's the person who can't stop talking about how awesome/crazy/funny/pretty/dramatic his or her own wedding was. If we're being honest, getting stuck with The Chatty Cathy is like being sentenced to a night of no dancing and no fun. The bottom line is, don't monopolize anyone's time at a wedding; there are too many people to see and catch up with to spend it all with one person.
The Sloppy Drunk
It happens at almost every single wedding with a bar. Someone has about five too many specialty cocktails, gets really impossible to converse with, and forgets that he or she is at a wedding and not a college frat party. Double points if you get the embarrassingly drunk couple that waffles between make-out sessions on the dance floor and crazy fights at the bar. Somebody call the Sloppy Drunk(s) an Uber, stat!
The Food Critic
Sit-down dinners are incomplete without at least one complaint, right? Wrong. Weddings are not the place to voice your food and wine snobbery, nor are they the place to air your ethical food quandaries. If you absolutely must express distaste for the food, please do so extremely quietly and only to your date. The couple would be super bummed to hear of anyone bad-mouthing something they put so much effort into selecting, and food is at the top of that list.
The Selfie Queen
Thinking about packing your selfie stick for a wedding? Please refrain. No one likes to look back on photos of their own wedding hashtag only to find pictures of you. You're there to celebrate with other people, so be sure to include those people in your pics, and don't forget to use the wedding tag on social media so the bride and groom can check out your snaps.
The Busy Guy
This may come in the form of a guy or a girl, but anyone who can't put their phone down during a wedding ceremony or reception is just plain rude. It's totally fine to snap photos here and there, but texting and checking your Tinder all night long is unacceptable social behavior in 99.9% of settings and 100% unacceptable at a wedding.
The Unintentional DJ
This is the guy who keeps making requests to the DJ, as if the DJ is a human jukebox. The real DJ actually hates this person and will gladly tell him so. DJs select mood-appropriate music for a living and most of them do their best when they have free reign to play whatever gets the crowd moving based on their experience and expertise. So, unless the DJ is stuck with the Macarena and the YMCA on repeat, give this artist their space.
The Surprise Speaker
Every bride's worst nightmare right here: the random, unplanned speech. Eeeeek! This is usually quite a debacle to witness, as said person is typically a few sheets to the wind. Our best advice? Pry that mic out of his death grip fingers ASAP, or better yet, get the sound guy to shut the microphone off and turn the music up.
The Negative Nancy
Anyone who thinks it's okay to insult the couple's taste at a wedding should be dropped off on a remote island and left behind. And yet, people will always have some negative commentary on the price of the wedding, the surprising fit of the dress, the scent of the flowers, and the list goes on. In polite society, none of these negative comments should fly out of the mouth. Should you find yourself in conversation with Negative Nancy, be sure to drop the topic like a hot potato and throw in a few compliments to the setting and the couple.