Everything Your Man of Honor Needs to Know

Yes, he's your bestie and your VIP attendant. But does he need to learn how to bustle your dress?

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Photo: Steve Steinhardt

Having a man of honor at your wedding is a wonderful way to acknowledge the bond you share with your male best friend. But how does this affect the wedding planning commitments and responsibilities typically handled by the maid of honor? Does your man of honor have all of the same duties? The short answer is: It's up to the two of you. Depending on the relationship you two share and the composition of the rest of your bridal party, your man of honor may want to be very involved, or else prefer to take a hands-off role. To help you two figure out just how much he should take on, here's what he needs to know about various aspects of wedding planning typically handled by the bride's main attendant.

Wedding dress shopping.

If your brother is your man of honor, he may not want to join you wedding dress shopping. Same goes for a male BFF. That said, he may feel comfortable joining you as you try on gowns, so ask him if he's interested but don't be hurt if he'd rather see you in the dress on the big day. You have a whole tribe of 'maids and other VIP women in your life who are ready to ohh and ahhh over all of the beautiful gown.

Planning details.

Early on in the process, and again in the weeks leading up to your wedding day, have a conversation with your man of honor to make sure you're on the same page about how he can help out with planning and logistics. This could include everything from heavy-lifting (literally) and following up with your vendors to tracking down non-RSVPs and helping with errands galore. If he's shown an interest in helping you research vendors or brainstorming décor ideas, embrace his enthusiasm.

The bridal shower.

Although the bridal shower is typically attended only by women, your man of honor can certainly help plan and enjoy the festivities. If he feels uncomfortable about the idea of being the only man in a room filled with women, let him bow out of this task.

The bachelorette party.

Should your man of honor attend-or even plan-the bachelorette party? By all means, yes! It wouldn't be a proper party without your bestie in tow, and he likely knows some, if not all, of the other 'maids and friends who'll attend. If for some reason he's not that into it, plan a mini celebratory outing just for the two of you, separately.

The wedding morning.

Leave it up to your man of honor to decide if he'd prefer getting ready with the groomsmen or on his own, but he should plan to arrive to the bridal suite well before the ceremony to share in the excitement and to take photos. He probably won't be the person tasked with fixing your veil or bustling your wedding dress, but you'll still want him there for support.

The speech.

Your man of honor should certainly prepare a speech for the reception. If you're having a co-maid of honor, both attendants can offer short toasts to the couple, or read a combined one.

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