And does having a shared party with the guys mean shared work?

By Nancy Mattia
August 23, 2019

While an all-female bridal shower still dominates the party circuit, more and more brides are sharing the spotlight with their grooms and having a couples' shower (also called a co-ed shower and a joint shower). All genders are welcome and give a decidedly modern feel to a classic celebration.

And the hosting duties go to…

For a traditional shower, the bridesmaids usually host, but an aunt, cousin, family friend, even the bride's or groom's mom can have the honor instead. The same applies to a co-ed shower—whoever wants to host can do it. It may turn out that the guys are eager to attend but can't get past the old-fashioned idea that showers are a female thing so they're not interested in planning it.

If they are willing to share the work...

There's certainly a lot to do: deciding on the guest list, picking a theme, finding a locale, choosing a menu, sending the invitations, making (or buying) favors, and anything else that's needed to do. Nothing should be one-sided: Whether it's the theme or the menu, everything should be appealing to each guest, no matter their gender.

A note about opening gifts.

This is still a major activity at many traditional showers, but consider downplaying it if guys are there. To save time so everyone can mingle more, the hosts can request that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane or not wrapped at all, cutting out all the tedious unwrapping by the bride and her maids. Or choose a theme that will intrigue guests. While most men (and many women) won't get too excited about seeing the fluffy towels Aunt Carol gave you, they may pay attention when the theme is "entertainment," and the gifts are wine-bottle openers and portable Bluetooth speakers.


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