Even the strongest of marriages have their hiccups. Yet, the difference between a rock solid union and a fling lies in a few crucial relationship components. Here, Marni Feuerman, licensed marriage therapist in Boca Raton, Fla., and marriage expert for About.com, shares some of the most common marriage mistakes—and, how to avoid them.
Credit: Universal/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection

1. Not putting each other first.

Once you marry, make each other a priority. This doesn't mean sticking together like glue, however. Instead, think of your marriage and the rest of your obligations as a system of checks and balances. If you notice that all of your time is spent working or running after the kids, take time to rejigger a few things to make sure you actually spend time together that goes beyond crashing on the couch. Date night might sound cheesy, but it works.

2. Weak communication.

It's important to say things that are bothering you as they come up; otherwise, you're brewing a recipe for resentment and fights that have you literally crying over spilled milk-except it's not about the dairy. Screaming matches or shutting down and refusing to talk are equally unhealthy ways to argue. Learn to talk about disappointments without blaming.

3. Keeping secrets.

Make a point to talk about your day and worries, innocent as they may be. Perhaps you're self-conscious that you didn't get that promotion and now feel guilty because you self-medicated with retail therapy. Keeping mum about your shopping splurge is not healthy, as it can become habitual. Wouldn't you feel hurt if your partner told little white lies, too? Relationships are built on trust and if you can't own up to little things, it's going to be a lot harder to get the guts to tackle important conversations.

4. Poor boundaries with family or friends.

Family and friends have a time and a place and should not invade your life. Think: a pushy MIL who unexpectedly shows up for dinner three times a week or another couple who loves to brunch every weekend. While both groups of people are important, if either of you feels a bit claustrophobic it's time to learn how to say "no" to zealous guests. What's more, minimize conversations about your private life outside the marriage. Tempting as it may be to vent, the listening party will probably make a bigger deal out of your rant-you don't want mom thinking that your hubby is neglectful just because he had a period of late nights at work.

5. Never apologizing or admitting that you are wrong.

Love Story took the "Love means never having to say you're sorry" a bit too far. We're all adults here and if you do something wrong, or hurt feelings, you need to apologize. Sure, it's easier to make excuses for poor behavior, or worse, flip the situation and blame the other person, but you're not in kindergarten anymore.

6. Not showing gratitude.

Say "thank you" for the things your spouse is doing, even if they are expected, ahem, chores. Gratitude goes a long way especially when one of you is stuck doing something annoying, like filling out tax forms. Even if your partner enjoys mowing the lawn, don't underestimate the power of showing appreciation for perfectly manicured grass.

7. Exerting jealousy.

There is a big difference between asking about his day and grilling him about every moment he's not with you. When your husband mentions that a new account manager started at his firm, you should not follow up with, "Is she pretty?" We all have insecurities but consistently jealous behavior and manipulative comments create obvious wear-and-tear on your relationship.

8. Shirking professional help.

Sometimes working through marriage problems on your own just doesn't work. But don't call it quits until you try resolving your issues with a licensed marriage therapist. These are highly trained professionals who have seen it all and can dole out advantageous advice as well as help you better see your partner's perspective. The sooner you get help, the better. Think of it as going to a dentist of marital health-a small cavity is easy to patch up, while a root canal is an entirely different story.

Comments (9)

Martha Stewart Member
October 11, 2022
Seeking for help on how to fix up your marriage contact ( https://solutiontemple.info ) is certainly the best option that i know of his result is 100% guarantee.
Martha Stewart Member
June 6, 2022
It was a miracle when priest love helpe me , my broken marriage back in the next seven days, here is his info. (((Lovetemple0001))))@gmail.)))com)))) and WhatsApp +(234(961))570)504) )just in case you have similar issues, capable of solving any all kind life problem etc
Martha Stewart Member
March 21, 2022
A powerful spiritual man turned my sorrow into happiness. My husband left me a few years ago for another woman and they both planned to get married. I am so surprised that he came back to me on a chilly Saturday afternoon, begging and crying for me to take him back and forgive him for breaking up our marital home and abandoning me and the kids. priest adu is a true spiritualist saviour. He brought my husband back “If you have any worries or problems in your marriage or relationships you can contact him through his web (solution-temple.com)
Martha Stewart Member
February 2, 2022
Are you having issues in your relationship, Or finding it difficult to have a child of your own or are you the type having any diseases in your body. I will advise you to contact Dr. Perfect, on ( Perfectlovetemple@gmail.com ) The potency of his spell is so effective and can reunite broken relationships and can also make one get pregnant no matter the situation and not only that, He also has the power to cure all types of diseases within the period of 72hours.Contact Him Today And Thank Me Later,
Martha Stewart Member
December 12, 2021
Get your husband or boyfriend back from the other woman after divorce or breakup..Even if your situation seems hopeless .. I just got my husband back with the help of true love enchantment, the son of kudi. My husband left me for another woman, this was just a year of our marriage. The most painful thing was that I was pregnant with our first child. I wanted him back. I did everything in my power to get him back but everything was in vain, I wanted so badly to have him back because of the love I had for him, I asked him with everything, I gave promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I would rather contact a magician who could help me conjure him to get him back, I had no choice but to try it. I sent a message to the wizard named son of kudi and he assured me that there were no problems and that everything will be okay within 24 hours. He enchanted and surprisingly 24 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened. He wanted me to return to him. He also said that he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him. That's how we started living happily together again. Thanks to kudi's son. If you are here and your lover says no to you, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact son of kudi for help now .. Here his contact..WhatsApp him: 2348108149120, Telegram: 2348108149120, E- post: sonofkudi@gmail.com
Martha Stewart Member
September 29, 2021
how i got my Ex lover back after a divorced by the help of DR NCUBE a marriage/relationship specialist. contact him if you need help WHATSAPP DR NCUBE ON +2348155227532 his email is..... drncube03@gmail.com he also have #herbs for Pregnancy Infertility herbal medicine mixture. #hiv/aids #cancerdisease #fibroid #diabetes
Martha Stewart Member
September 29, 2021
how i got my Ex lover back after a divorced by the help of DR NCUBE a marriage/relationship specialist. contact him if you need help WHATSAPP DR NCUBE ON +2348155227532 his email is..... drncube03@gmail.com he also have #herbs for Pregnancy Infertility herbal medicine mixture. #hiv/aids #cancerdisease #fibroid #diabetes
Martha Stewart Member
September 5, 2021
My Dear friends online, My name is amanda bella And i live in USA, ohio, I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2 years ago, which lead to our break up. I was not myself again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Doctor Jude. I email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happen, less than two days my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me i was so happy to have him back to me. The most interesting part of the story is that am pregnant. Thanks to Doctor jude for saving my marriage and for also saving others own too. Continue your good work, If you are interested to contact the great spell caster email address: virgolovespell@gmail.com or contact him on whatsapp +2348034062173
Martha Stewart Member
June 20, 2021
I had been having serious issues with my husband and we had been married for 3 year with a baby, He just suddenly changed and started cheating on me on several occasion, He was hurting me in so many ways I never thought possible. I was at the stage of loosing my marriage. I discussed my situation with my best friend and she highly recommend I contact Dr Oshun the spiritualist for help. which I humbly did, I demanded a love spell from the Doctor. With hope and faith everything went to a whole new direction after he finished the love spell. I got everything I wanted and wished for, my husband is back to the man I got married to. You can contact Dr Oshun, because he saved my marriage from crashing.oshunpriest@gmail.com