What to do when you feel like you're not getting enough say in the decision-making process.

By Alyssa Brown
August 09, 2018
megan scott wedding outdoor reception

There are plenty of benefits to working with a wedding planner: They'll manage a tremendous number of tasks without you ever having to think about them, and their expertise and industry connections come in handy. But if you're the type of person who likes to think about the small details, it may feel like your pro is doing too much or making too many decisions without you. While most wedding planners will consult you before finalizing anything-and especially so when it's an important decision-you might also be the type of person who'd prefer to be involved early on. If you feel like you're not getting enough say, or that your wedding planner is taking a little too much off your plate, here's what you can do.

Talk to your planner about what you want to be involved with from the start.

Wedding planner Jacin Fitzgerald says one of the very first questions she asks her clients is, "What have you been looking forward to the most about wedding planning?" That way, she's able to ensure they're involved in the aspects of the wedding that they really care about. "This gets us off on the right foot and ensures my clients are involved in rather than feeling like they're missing out because they hired a planner," she explains. Having these conversations at the start of the process usually prevents conflict later down the road.

Work together to develop a task plan that works well for you.

One of the first things most planners will hand you is a customized to-do list that outlines everything you should be working on along with some of the tasks they'll tackle behind the scenes. "I break out the entire planning process in pieces so my clients know exactly what's going to happen next instead of wondering where we stand," Fitzgerald says, "I think that helps them to feel involved, even if we're just working on hotel blocks on the backend." If there's anything you feel strongly that you'd like to be part of and you don't see it on the list, be sure to bring this up with your planner. It's important to recognize that there are a lot of things your planner can't do for you-like shopping for a wedding dress or creating a guest list-and you'll need to stay on top of your own tasks in order for the planning to run smoothly.

Optimize the time you have with your wedding planner.

Fitzgerald says that since most of her clients don't live near their venues, she tries to really take advantage of the in-person time they have together. "The design meeting is usually one of the most fun days in our planning journey together," she says, "I have linen samples, vases, floral options, candles, paper goods, and more so clients can sit at their wedding table and decide which components they like best." By giving her clients a chance to share their opinions and give feedback on the overall design concept, there's a feeling of all the bits and pieces coming together to form a cohesive look. In-person meetings can also be a great time for clients to ask more in-depth questions that don't have a quick and easy answer. And, if you are feeling a bit out of the loop with some of the decisions that have been made, this is usually the most convenient time to bring those things up.


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