50 Tips for Planning Your Wedding Reception

Once you've got an approximate wedding date, start scouting venues. Know your budget and have a rough guest count in mind, as well as the reception style you prefer—formal seated, buffet, cocktail party, or food stations.

After you figure out what you'll do when, write it all on a timeline and give it to your photographer and reception site manager, so everyone stays on the same clock. Also let the manager know when to expect vendor deliveries (cake, flowers, rentals).

Do a walk-through of your venue as soon as you're able, noting features to highlight—a grand staircase, beautiful chandeliers, or a grove of trees, perhaps—and areas that need to be spruced up or downplayed.

Your immediate "to do" list: Book the venue, hire a caterer, decide on basic décor. Caterers often have several sample menus at different price points to choose from. Be sure to have variety so that the menu appeals to many different tastes. This isn't the time to serve all vegan foods if your guests are largely carnivores. With these major tasks done, you'll be ready to focus on the smaller details. 

Get everything in writing: Make sure you have signed contracts from all your vendors and that you've read the fine print and resolved any questions.

Be sure to order the reception stationery. This includes table (escort) cards, place cards, menus, table numbers, and favor tags. Plan to write out table and place cards after all the RSVPs come in. 

Lighting can make or break an event, but to create the right ambience, you don't necessarily need to hire professionals to cast patterns on the dance floor. You can set the mood simply by flanking an outdoor walkway with dozens of luminaria or setting dining tables with elegant candelabra or clusters of small candles; you might also replace harsh white bulbs in fixtures with more flattering amber ones.

Elegant front-door decorations, which can be as low-key as swags of greenery or lanterns leading toward your venue, serve as a visual welcome whether adorning a building or a tent and ensure that everyone's first glimpse of the party is from its best vantage point.

A few well-placed touches, such as monogrammed cocktail napkins or a palette-friendly favor at each table setting, can go a long way toward making your party look extra-special. Also, be sure to assemble all the reception goods ahead of time including favors, a guest book, cake knife, toasting flutes, and signs. 

A vessel of fresh fruit makes a stunning and unexpected alternative to a traditional floral centerpiece, and one long banquet table may fit a sleekly modern space better than several round ones do.

This is the stuff nightmares are made of, but it doesn't have to be if you start the chart as soon as RSVPs begin arriving. Look for ways that allow you to change things easily at the last minute. These seating cards keep names and table numbers separate, so you can shift guests' assignments without having to rewrite the cards. 

You'll need to choose your florist at least six months ahead of time and reserve your party rentals two months after that.

Especially if you are planning a destination wedding or marrying on a holiday, ask guests to mark their calendars. Ideally, mail out these announcements at least four months before the wedding to ensure the guests you really want to attend the celebration will be able to attend.

Be prepared: Up to 80 to 90% of those invited may attend. (The smaller the list, the more yeses you should expect percentage-wise, because you will likely be asking only those closest to you.)

Be sure you have ample room for tables (figure 10 to 15 square feet per person, assuming that the tables are round and seat six to 10 guests); also check that the dance floor is big enough (four to five square feet per guest is about right).

Planning an outdoor reception? You can't count on sunshine, so either reserve a tent or opt for a location with an indoor alternative in the event of inclement weather.

Even if you've decided against an overall wedding planner, you'll want a cool-headed pro on hand to ask guests to be seated for dinner, help organize toasts, and handle any problems. Ask if your venue can provide this service; if not, some independent planners will work for a single day.

Figure out when to do bridal party and family photos. There's nothing worse than missing your entire cocktail hour because you're taking photos. Talk to your photographer about timing.

If possible, designate a separate cocktail area and close the reception space to early arrivals. To create a sense of drama, neither you nor your guests should see the behind-the-scenes machinations and last-minute setup gaffes. Keeping the doors closed will also let your photographer take unhurried shots of the reception décor before the crowd arrives. Also, think about when to open the dance floor. Will it be after dessert is served or between courses? Plan on allowing time for any special dances, too, like the first dance and the father-daughter dance

Stylish tokens needn't be expensive. This bride's stepmother made rose-petal jelly for the favors by filling small canning jars with the treat and then dressing up with floral fabric and twine to keep with the shabby-chic style of the celebration. A kraft paper tag read, "Spread the love," in the shape of Texas, where the wedding took place.

Many venues charge more for after-dark affairs. With an outdoor reception, if you opt for a luncheon event, you'll also cut back on or eliminate costs associated with lighting, such as setup and generators. These over-sized paper pom poms make just as big a statement as twinkling lights.

By seating diners family-style at long tables no wider than 36 inches, you'll shrink the amount of empty space to decorate, cutting down on centerpiece costs. Guests will still have plenty of room and will find conversation easier as well.

Locally available flowers will be most affordable, as are simple arrangements. And, there's no reason why ceremony flowers can't come to the reception. Ask for altar arrangements that will also complement the party site. Alternatively, your florist may be able to refashion them into small gift bouquets for your bridal party.

You'll save on liquor, food, and possibly vendors' fees if you shave 30 minutes or an hour off the party. So it doesn't feel rushed, cut a little from everything (make the cocktail hour a "cocktail 45 minutes") instead of eliminating events. And set a time limit for the reception. 

Your guests have already spent hours, if not days, at pre-wedding events and at the ceremony itself; they're likely to be tired. Though you may wish the reception would never end, it should last no more than five hours. Also, make it clear that any after-parties you schedule are entirely optional.

If you're filling an empty space, you'll need things like chairs, tables, linens, and dishes; borrow as much as you can from the venue. Also order a photo booth, if that's in the plans. A site with a fee that includes necessities such as linens and furniture may at first appear more expensive than an a la carte venue, but once you factor in rental fees, you may ultimately keep costs down. 

Have your wedding and reception in the same location. You'll spend less on décor, as well as on transportation costs for you and your wedding attendants.

Balloons have long been used to fill party spaces at low cost. For a sophisticated feel, opt for a few large balloons instead of masses of birthday-party-style ones. Those with a diameter of 36 inches have an elegant globe shape.

Young guests will enjoy goodies that are all theirs. Give budding brainiacs a potted succulent pet (they're resilient enough for youngsters to care for) and magnifying glasses to inspect their new green friends. Spark creativity by offering coloring books, crayons, and colored pencils. 

If you love the tradition of following your bridal party into the reception to an upbeat song like "Happy" or "Best Day of My Life," work out the details with your DJ or bandleader. 

If you will be hosting more than 50 people, the traditional meet-and-greet can take an hour or more. For groups of this size, it's more gracious of the newlyweds to thank guests by visiting every table.

An unplanned ramble can interrupt the flow of a party and make everyone uncomfortable. Encourage spur-of-the-moment speeches at the rehearsal dinner so the reception includes only words from the host, the newlyweds, and the best man and maid of honor. If you're concerned that your speakers may overindulge, schedule toasts to take place early in the festivities. 

At a less formal reception, a short written quiz about you and your new husband, with questions about where you met and how he proposed, can get conversation started between guests who don't know one another.

A few small comfort items are always appreciated. Consider stashing a basket of inexpensive slippers near the dance floor for women who are tired of their high heels. Have hand lotion, tissues, or hairspray in the restrooms. At an outdoor fête, stock sunscreen, bug repellent, paper fans, and perhaps even a few cozy wraps for the women in case of a sudden evening chill.

Less is more when it comes to a wedding reception, so consider ditching the 30-minute video montage or the fireworks display for something less elaborate. Even a gesture as simple as distributing sparklers at night's end can charm guests and keep them from feeling overloaded.

Your hospitality should extend to photographers, videographers, waiters, and musicians, as well as any other vendors working at your reception. Make sure they have water, scheduled breaks, and, most important, a meal. It need not be the same one that you're serving to guests, but it should be nourishing and delicious.

Unexpected entertainment is wonderful when your guests tire of dancing. A portrait station of do-it-yourself Polaroids, a cigar roller, or a strolling palm reader can offer a touch of surprise and whimsy.

Hors d'oeuvres are best when they are easy to serve and eat. And since you're offering a choice, go ahead and pick something exotic; plan on about six options and six pieces per person.

You may be able to afford a premium baker even on a tight budget. Skip labor-intensive iced decorations and ask for a simpler style, then dress it up fresh flowers or ribbon. Be sure the flowers you use are food safe and pesticide-free. You'll also need to figure out when to cut the cake. Usually it's served right after it's cut as dessert or after dessert. 

If your budget allows, pamper guests with a plated meal instead of a buffet—it's an especially nice gesture. If you'd prefer a buffet, be sure to have enough serving stations to prevent long lines, and ask your caterer to prepare and serve plates of food for any elderly guests in attendance. Don't forget to give your caterer the guest count about two weeks before the wedding day, after the last of the RSVPs have arrived.

For an event that includes many children or abstaining adults, consider having a separate table with sparkling and flat water, as well as a spirit-free version of your signature drink if you're serving one.

There's no need at many weddings to stock your bar with a full selection of liquor. A red and a white wine, a sparkling wine, and a signature cocktail are plenty, and they're economical to boot. You can also create a signature drink that's festive and personal to you and the groom.

It's perfectly acceptable (and more budget-friendly) to offer a single entree instead of letting guests choose from among a few. Arrange to have a "silent" vegetarian option on hand in case people ask for it.

Unless the meal will be the focus of the evening, as with an intimate party at a five-star restaurant, your menu can consist of an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert (the last could even be the wedding cake).

If you choose to have an after-party, you'll need to provide refreshments, such as a light buffet of snacks or breakfast treats. Plan on enough for about one-quarter to one-third of your total original invitees.

Can't decide—or can't agree—on whether to have live entertainment or a DJ? Split the difference and hire musicians for cocktails and a disc jockey for dancing. You should also ask them what they're going to wear. Most DJs or bands will don tuxedos or suits, but it's best to clarify attire with them to avoid surprises. For a casual event, such as a beach reception, you may want them in something less formal.

If you're hiring a cover band, a good one requires at least seven pieces. A male and a female vocalist, plus guitar, bass, keyboard, trumpet or sax, and drums generally make the most versatile combination.

If there are specific songs you must hear, make a list beforehand for your band or deejay. Are there tunes you absolutely don't want? Draw up a do-not-play list, as well. Also, check that the venue has enough power and outlets for the musicians. You don't want an electrical outage to stop the music!

If your entertainers aren't taking a break during this time, they should be considerate of diners by turning down the mike and avoiding any energetic selections.

Decide if you'll do a garter toss and bouquet throw. 

Ask your site manager beforehand whether rice, rose petals, sparklers, and the like are allowed. When it comes time to leave, have someone round up guests and pass out props, then say a heartfelt goodbye. 

Make sure you've designated someone, such as the best man, to distribute gratuity envelopes you've prepared at party's end. You'll need to tip all service providers, including the catering and reception staff (unless gratuity is added to the total bill), cleanup crew, and limousine drivers.