Is it okay to beg out of the wedding because you've already splurged on plane tickets?

By Nancy Mattia
August 27, 2019

Dilemma: You made your summer vacation plans super early to get the best rates. A month later you receive a wedding invitation from an old high school friend, but unfortunately her special day is scheduled right smack in the middle of when you're supposed to be away. What to do? While you'd love to celebrate your pal's new marriage, you were really looking forward to sightseeing in Europe. Here are questions to ask yourself while trying to decide what to do.

Can you reschedule your vacation without much fuss?

If your employer has no problem with you switching your time off and you won't lose any hotel deposits or other travel expenses that you've already paid for, why not reschedule your trip to another week and go to the wedding?

How close are you to the bride and/or groom?

If one of the people getting married is a close friend or family member, you'll want to think twice before sending a "no" response. Will either the bride or groom be hurt you didn't prioritize their wedding? Are you still truly friends with the couple or did they invite you to their wedding to reciprocate you inviting them to your wedding a few years back?

Will you later regret not going?

Though a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for a couple, a vacation has a certain level of importance, too. You're not obligated to drop everything to attend someone's wedding or feel guilty if you have to turn down the invitation. But think it through carefully so you have no regrets later.

How to reply "No."

While your only obligation is to check off the "I can't attend" response on the reply card, why not go the extra mile and include a note explaining you'd already made travel plans and you're sorry that you'll miss the wedding?


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