Is it okay to tap the moms, or should you ask someone else?
outdoor hawaiian wedding ceremony vow reading
Credit: KT Merry

One of the loveliest ways to make the mothers of the bride and groom a part of the wedding is to ask each woman to lead a ceremony reading. Even better: Let them choose their readings. It could be one that was performed at her own wedding or one that she finds especially meaningful. While you certainly don't have to ask either mother to deliver a reading during the ceremony, it's a very nice way to personalize your event. If you're on the fence, we're offering all you need to know about readings performed by the mothers of the bride and groom.

If you ask your mom to do a reading, should you ask his mom too?

It would be a lovely gesture to ask both moms to do a reading. It's a tangible sign that both mothers are still VIPs in their children's lives. Plus, asking just your mom to be a reader might become a point of contention in your relationship with your new in-laws. Even if you think your groom's mother might decline, you might want to offer the position for the sake of familial peace.

Can they do a reading together?

Yes! If you're going to have both mothers deliver a joint reading, they should walk side by side to the altar or mic and take turns reading alternate paragraphs (so you'll want to pick a longer reading) or they could do two separate readings immediately after each other. It sends a clear message that the two families have bonded.

His mom's into doing it but mine's not. How can I change her mind?

Public speaking is a top fear for many people. If it's why your mother is reticent, there's not much you can do about it. Perhaps picking out a short reading and having her read it out loud to you will change her mind. If not, respect her wishes and leave her off the reading list.

My mom's very emotional, and I'm afraid she might cry throughout the reading. Should I have an understudy ready if she can't go on?

This isn't Broadway, it's a wedding! If you're worried she'll ruin the ceremony, don't be. Your mom will pull herself together in time to do a good reading. And if not? Think ahead and print the reading, word for word, in the wedding program to help guests follow along between sobs.


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