9 Things to Know About Writing Your Wedding Vows
It's easy to understand why so many couples choose to write their own wedding vows—it's one of the most special ways to make your big day uniquely yours. Though, that doesn't mean it's easy. Most people aren't born a poet! So, if you find yourself with a case of wedding writer's block, sit back, take a breather, and read these 9 tips to get your pen to paper. Know that you'll be on your way to penning the best wedding vows ever in no time at all.
Get started on your vows one month before the wedding.
By then, all your planning and decision-making will be nearly finished, and you can focus your mind and heart squarely on the day's emotion. Try not to worry about the writing itself. The sentiment is the most important aspect of this first step.
Schedule some alone time to write your vows independently before sharing them with your significant other. You don't want to influence each other—it should be personal.
Ask yourself questions.
How did you fall in love? What do you admire about your future partner? What do you hope for your future together? Why have you chosen to spend the rest of your life with this person? What do you love most about him or her? Take time to really think about your answers, so they translate easily into vows.
Look to literature.
Once you've gathered your own thoughts, scour books and poems that you love to read.
Focus on what marriage means to you. What are you saying yes to? Think about the good times (and model relationships in your life), but consider all of the stumbling blocks in your relationship, too.
Turn to tradition.
Look to classic wedding vows for any wording or covenants that you'd like to update and incorporate into your own vows. For example, you might want to replace "till death do us part" with "as long as we both shall live."
Don't worry about being funny.
Reciting your wedding vows is a promise of love and commitment—not an open-mic night at your favorite comedy club. Don't try and force the funny. Instead, focus on keeping the positive upbeat and celebratory.
Mention the rings.
Be sure to draft a line that signals to the officiant and best man that it's time to put a ring on it. These "ring vows" are short, no more than one or two sentences. "With this ring, I thee wed" is the most universally recognizable phrasing, but some couples choose other messages like "With this ring our hands, like our lives, are joined forever."
Practice, practice, practice.
Remember when you were in high school and you would practice your presentations at home over and over? Prepping for your vows is a similar process. Make sure to rehearse what you're going to say before the big day, but don't feel like you have to memorize every line. It's a good idea to print a copy in a size and typeface that's easy to read in case you need a reminder on the wedding day. Give a copy to your officiant, best man, or maid of honor as backup. Or, ask your officiant to read your vows aloud line by line for you to repeat.