How to Go to the Bathroom in a Wedding Dress
Wearing a long white gown and going to the bathroom are two things that really don't go together! But on your wedding day, nature will call-damn you, Champagne!-and you need to be ready to answer. Whether you're wearing a big ball gown or slinky mermaid style, you'll never manage a trip to the loo without the help of a few of your crew. We outline the options so you can decide which way to go.
A "providing bathroom help" clause is in the bridesmaids' contract.
Oh, you don't think there is such a thing as that clause or a contract? You're right-it's not legal or anything but it's understood. When you ask a friend to be a bridesmaid, you're also asking her to be part of your bathroom brigade. Don't even think about going alone. There you'll be in a stall all by your lonesome trying to hold up 60 pounds of satin, lace and silk, layers of poufy tulle, and a four-foot train and trying to squat and grab toilet paper all at the same time. It's not going to happen. Two bridesmaids, two pairs of hands, one embarrassed but relieved (ha ha) bride. Repeat several times during the night.
Of course there's a technique, more than one, actually. For all of them to work, your cozy trio needs to go to the handicapped stall. (Out of respect for disabled guests who may need to use the bathroom, try to be as quick possible in what's rightfully their space.) See which of these approaches sounds most feasible to you.
The Lift: If you've got a complicated corset dress or lots of buttons down the back, this one's for you. Each bridesmaid grabs and lifts one side of the dress then holds up as much other fabric as possible while you pull down your underwear and squat on the bowl. Don't worry, if they aren't cracking up, they'll discreetly look the other way.
The Backwards Boost: This is The Lift Plus and is best if you want the back of your dress to stay pristine, not like you used it to wipe your kitchen counters. Your girls will grab and lift but instead of you facing forward, you face the wall and sit on the toilet backwards so the back of your dress can lay out the door rather than be crumpled up on the tank or take a dip in the bowl. It helps to adopt a "my bladder's full so I don't care" attitude to pee with the stall door open.
The Removal: If your dress can be taken off in a reasonable amount of time (yeah right) then consider this method. Take a look at the bathroom floor-if it isn't supergross, take off your shoes; it'll make dress removal easier. Have the girls grab a side of the dress while you remove it by pushing down the fabric and carefully stepping out of it. You and your girls should try to hold the dress so that the bottom doesn't touch the floor, even if it doesn't look too dirty.
Can't bear to go in front of an audience?
There is one easy option we should mention: Forget the poufy princess dress and buy a simple sheath!
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