How to Tell Coworkers—and Your Boss—You're Engaged
Spread the good news to your boss and colleagues the right way
Congratulations on your new engagement! After following the proper etiquettes of telling your friends and loved ones you're tying the knot, you can share the exciting-though extremely personal-news with people you work with. Here's how to handle it like a true professional.
Tell a select few first.
Letting your network know the big news is a truly exciting time. While you may want to shout from your office building's rooftop, relationship expert and author Andrea Syrtash suggests sharing your engagement with your closer friends and connections at work one-on-one before informing your boss and the rest of your coworkers. Let your buddies know if there are any details you'd like to keep under wraps for the time being. "Office news tends to spread, so if you don't want people to share your update, let them know," she adds. When you do go big with the news, don't send a group message that goes to the entire company. "An office email may feel like a bit much," Syrtash says. "Does the tech guy really need to know you're getting hitched?"
Answer only the questions you want to.
It's not uncommon that informing others of big life events may lead to pressing questions that you may not be willing to answer just yet-or ever. Inquiries like Who from the office is invited? How soon are you expecting to have kids? How big of a wedding are you planning? may all come up when you make your engagement news public.
You can address these questions in several ways, says Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. Depending on how close you feel to the questioner, you can answer, "I know, what a good question-but we haven't addressed any of those details yet," she suggests. Another way to respond is,"We are still at the beginning stages of all this-no idea yet." Or, especially if it's an honest reply, you can say, "Oh my god, these details make me really stressed. Let's put that on the back burner until I can calm down."
Squelch anyone's wedding-planning worries.
Wedding chatter, as well as wedding planning, while wonderful, can take up a significant amount of time, and any tasks that may potentially take you away from giving 100 percent at work could cause some employers to worry. So when telling your boss, make sure you schedule a face-to-face time to discuss this potential issue. The earlier you do it, the better.
"It may be most challenging, but then you can assess your boss' reaction, and everything is out in the open," Dr. Orbuch adds. "Suggest laying out the plans to your boss in the form of a question-asking for their advice," she explains. For example, you can say, "I would like to take a honeymoon after the wedding for X days." Or, "We're thinking of going during X month. I know this isn't a busy time at work, so I'm hoping I can take that time off."