Is This Normal? And Other Questions You'll Ask While Wedding Planning
Can you relate?
Whether you've been engaged for a few days, a couple of weeks, months, or even years, you've undoubtedly been asked a gazillion questions regarding your wedding day. And you thought finding the right partner was the hard part!
It's only natural that you'd start to have some questions after a while, too. We'll do our best to answer the questions you've been repeating to yourself since the planning games began.
Is this normal?
This question can be applied to just about every aspect of planning a wedding, from family dynamics to budget constraints to contract negotiations. Most likely, the answer is yes. While you may have never planned a wedding before and aren't sure what the "norm" is, there's likely someone in your circle who has had a similar experience. Don't be shy about asking friends, family, or even your vendors if they have any input on whatever conundrum you're facing.
Life really does seem to go into warp speed when you're planning a wedding. Maybe you're also buying a house together, or one of you might be starting a new job. Yes, warp speed is normal. Embrace the chaos and learn how to make small decisions quickly so you don't get dragged down into the depths of the wedding planning abyss.
What does everyone else do?
This is a question nearly every wedding vendor is all too familiar with. And here's the truth: It doesn't matter what everyone else does. Of course, traditions are nice to honor during a wedding, but a wedding is about what's important to you and your fiancé.
Just because every wedding since 1982 at your venue has had a sweetheart table and a bouquet toss does not mean your wedding has to have those elements. Speak up for what you want, and don't be shy about what you don't want. While the traditional route may be your default, don't be afraid to shake things up.
Why isn't anyone calling me back?
While you're not "just another bride" to your vendors, it's pretty easy to feel that way when they're not returning your calls or emails. Don't worry; it's not just you. A lot of small mom and pop venues don't have a huge staff and assign one person to do everything from managing site tours to leading tastings to physically setting up and breaking down events. As a result, these sales reps tend to be slower to respond to emails and phone calls. They're not intentionally ignoring you!
How can I save money?
The vendors you're working with hear this question often and are usually very helpful when it comes to finding a solution. They know more about their services and costs than you do, so if you get a quote back and need to shave a few hundred off of it, be open and honest with them.
It's highly unlikely vendors are trying to upcharge you, so be gentle in your approach, and you're likely to get further with your cost savings. Keep in mind that some costs, like rental furniture, are fixed and don't have much pricing flexibility. In such a case, you might cut back quantity or change a style to achieve a lower overall cost.
Do I need help?
Knowing when to hire the pros is a tough call, requiring both the budget to do so and the acknowledgement that you can't do it all. Besides, doing it all would pull you in way too many directions on your wedding day.
Approach the topic with your fiancé, and know that there's nothing but good to come from getting assistance with the planning. Whether you end up hiring a day-of coordinator, month-of coordinator, or full-scale planner, you'll certainly be grateful for the extra helping hands on the wedding day.