Here's how to avoid driving your big-day team crazy.

By Alyssa Brown
October 22, 2019
vendors setting up tables for a wedding reception
Credit: Nastia Vesna

Once your wedding day is finally here, you're likely to feel very strong opinions about each and every one of your hardworking vendors. Chances are, they'll have their opinions about you, too. In hopes that opinions across the board will be favorable, we think it's important to set some clear boundaries and come to an agreement about your working style from the very start of the planning process. Here are a few things to avoid and a few things to keep in mind if you want to have a happy, positive, successful relationship with your wedding team. They'll be the cornerstone of your wedding day, after all.

Don't do these three things.

Calling and texting incessantly after business hours isn't a great way to establish a happy working environment with your vendors. If something is burning on your mind and you don't want to forget to bring it up at an appropriate time, send an email and make it clear that you're happy to wait on a response but don't want to forget about the task at hand. Expecting immediate, same-day responses to all emails also isn't realistic. If it's been a few days and you haven't received a reply, one follow-up email or phone call is totally acceptable; sending five reminder emails is just poor email etiquette. Similarly, sometimes it really is more efficient to pick up the phone and call rather than sending an endless cycle of emails on a topic.

Randomly showing up at your vendor's office without an appointment is also frowned upon, especially if you need to have a long meeting with them. By doing so, you can easily interrupt their work flow, scheduled meetings, conference calls, and more.

Do set clear boundaries.

One of the most helpful conversations you can have with your vendors once you start working together is to set boundaries that work well for both of your working styles. Your vendors will be juggling various events in addition to yours and they've likely found a way to work smartly on their terms. This could mean that they're happy to accept texts and emails outside of normal business hours but only reply during business hours. Or, it could mean that they're happy to respond at any time with no limitations. Find out what they're comfortable with from the start of the planning process so you can manage your expectations accordingly.

Don't freak out and assume your vendor's ignoring you.

The vast majority of vendors are juggling multiple events every week, sometimes in remote locations. This could mean there are multi-day site visits or events that allow them little or no internet or cell phone access. If you're worried a vendor is ignoring your calls, texts, and emails, it's possible that they're tied up in a location that won't allow them to quickly respond.

Do ask for more information when you need it.

Keep in mind that your vendors will have events and site visits constantly in their calendar and there may be times when they simply aren't available. If it's important for you to know when those blackout times are, let your vendor know so they can give you a head's up or at least setup an auto-reply on their emails.


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