One word: Why?

By Nancy Mattia
June 19, 2019
bridal shower guests
Credit: Megan Kerns

As a bridesmaid, it's your job to support the bride in the months leading up to the wedding. That means being there for her (both physically and emotionally) at her pre-wedding parties, too. So, what's a bridesmaid to do if she wants to skip the bridal shower? If you need to skip the shower-in the event that it's a life-or-death situation, you can't afford to travel for the party, or you already committed to a vacation or work event before the shower was planned-it's understandable if you don't attend. But "skip" implies that you're able to go, just not necessarily willing. If that's the case, then no, of course it's not okay to sit out on this celebration. Assuming you're the bridesmaid thinking of blowing off the bash, ask yourself why you'd want to do that? Whether you just got out of a tough relationship or simply don't enjoy bridal showers, it's important to remember that you accepted this role and should therefore be there for the woman of the hour. Here are a couple of reasons why you should plan to put on a pretty dress and a smile before hightailing it to the party.

You're close to the bride.

She chose you to be in her bridal party because she considers you a dear friend or family member. That puts you on a pedestal, high above many other women who weren't asked. Though it may sometimes feel like work, being a bridesmaid is a privilege. This is someone who is important to you, so you should be there to celebrate the occasion.

The bride will be disappointed.

The vast majority of brides want and expect their bridesmaids to be at the shower. That wish does not make her a bridezilla; it makes her a woman who wants to share these special experiences with the people she loves most. Don't make her wonder where you are. Even getting a last-minute ticket to a touring company production of "Hamilton" won't cut it. Go to the shower!

Not showing up won't solve the problem.

You don't want to attend because the bride has been demanding, overly sensitive, or hard to get along with, so you want to make a point about how unacceptable this behavior is by ditching her special day. Instead of coming across as righteous, you'll come across as selfish and petty. If you're having problems with the bride or some aspect of being a 'maid, talk it over with her as soon as possible so you can resolve your issues and get back on track.

Finding bridal showers boring is a poor excuse.

You'd rather watch paint dry than attend another bridal shower and the endless parade of gifts. Many women feel the same way you do (some consider baby showers even worse). But they put on their big-girl pants (or dress) and go anyway. You're probably one of the shower's organizers and hostesses, right? Try to stay busy and helpful during the party and the time will hopefully fly by. Don't feel you have to ooh and ahh over every dish towel and steak knife the bride unwraps but if you do, you get extra points for being a good sport!


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