Wedding planners weigh in, plus share their favorite gift ideas.
wedding kids
Credit: Liz Banfield

That's right, you have a few more gifts to add to your pre-wedding shopping list (and if you didn't realize you needed to get your young attendants presents, you're not alone). In fact, most brides are surprised to find out that, even though they're the ones getting married, etiquette says they have to shower many other people with gifts during their engagement period. "It's customary to give a gift to everyone in your bridal party as a thank-you for being part of your wedding," says Shannon Leahy Rosenbaum, wedding planner and owner of Shannon Leahy Events in California. This means, if you have a flower girl or ring bearer, they're awaiting a gift, too-after all, you are asking them to play a big role on your very special day.

Still, there's no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to what kind of gift you should get one or both, and how much you should spend. "It really depends on your financial situation and relationship to the child," Rosenbaum says. "It could be as simple as a note and a lovely book or as elaborate as a piece of jewelry." When it comes to just how much you should spend on the gift, experts say it can be up to you. "There are a lot of costs associated with weddings, so don't let buying elaborate gifts for your bridal party become a point of stress," says Rosenbaum. "Above all, it's the thought that counts." Not sure what's appropriate to gift to your flower girl or ring bearer? We asked wedding planners to share their best ideas.

Something to Entertain Them

Jessica Janik, wedding planner and founder of Bridal Concierge, notes that asking a child to be a part of your wedding also places a burden on the parent. For this reason, she recommends a gift that can help entertain the child throughout the long day, such as a personalized book with the flower girl's name in the title, a monogrammed duffle bag or sleeping bag, or a dresser set (brush, comb, and hand mirror with initial engraved). "For the ring bearer, you could get him a custom wallet, a personalized superhero book with his name in the title, or a custom piggy bank with his name and birthday on it in the shape of his favorite sports ball."

Jewelry to Keep Forever

Rosenbaum loves the idea of a charm bracelet for a little girl. "Add a charm from your wedding day so she can be reminded of when she was a flower girl. Similarly, a little jewelry box or trinket for her bedroom would be nice."

Picture Books About Weddings

"I always love books as presents for children, there are even books about how to be a flower girl or marriage that would be fun and on theme," says Rosenbaum. Not only can this help entertain a young child, but a book can help him or her prepare for the big day and to know what to expect.


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