She's there to help and support you, not become your personal assistant.

By Ellie Finn
March 26, 2019

Agreeing to serve as a bride's maid of honor means you're accepting a whole slew of responsibilities. How much or little you'll do for the woman of honor is largely based on your relationship and proximity-a sister or best friend will likely weigh in on everything from the wedding dress to the invitations; a family member or friend who lives far away may only be able to help out with big-picture tasks, like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. And while many women are willing to go the extra mile for their best friend in the months leading up to the wedding, it doesn't mean they should have to do everything she thinks of. In fact, there are a few things a maid of honor should never have to do.

Become Your Spokesperson

Your maid of honor will be more than happy to relay important information to the relevant parties-especially your bridesmaids-but you shouldn't turn her into a scapegoat. If you don't like how your fiancé is handling a situation, it's up to you to talk to him. If you're unhappy with your proof from your invitation designer, you should explain what it is you don't like. Don't take the easy way out by putting her in the hot seat. Odds are, she won't know how to say no to these types of requests and she may even start to regret agreeing to the role.

Break the Bank

No matter how long you've known each other, how much you spent on her wedding, or how excited you both are for the big day, asking your maid of honor to spend more than she's able to on your wedding is an absolute no-no. Whether it's a designer gown, an elaborate bachelorette party, or an unrealistic (and downright rude) "gift-minimum," your once in a lifetime experience doesn't change her day-today expenses. Asking your MOH-or anyone, for that matter-to spend above and beyond isn't just impolite their means, it's selfish. To avoid asking her to get in over her head, discuss a budget for the dress and any pre-wedding parties, then go from there.

Apologize for You

We all have our moments, and losing your cool during the course of planning may unfortunately be par for the course. If your maid of honor finds herself cleaning up your emotional messes on multiple occasions, it's time to take a step back. No one likes a bridezilla, least of all the people who love you enough to stand by your side on the big day.


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