To distress the fabric along the pocket tops, edges, hems, fly, and waist, use a sanding attachment on medium speed to fray the denim until you've achieved the desired look. Use the sponge sanders, which will wear the fabric without tearing it, to make "whiskers" on the material from the fly to the pocket. You can also use the sponges to sand the chevrons, or the folds inside and outside the knees, and any other place where the jeans would normally exhibit wear.
In between sandings, wash your jeans, turning them inside out and using Woolite in cold water. Since Woolite contains no brighteners, it won't give deep blue denim the red cast that regular detergents do.
Rotary tool (such as Dremel, with sanding attachments and sponge sanders)
Repeated wear may be the only natural way to get your jeans just the way you want them, but as Martha and her niece Sophie Herbert demonstrate, there are a few ways to distress the denim yourself, instantly creating a new "old" pair.